Home » Writing

Writing

Sign up to our Newsletter

Contact

Send us an email: info@freeieltspractice.com

For Writing Tips click HERE

Fourth Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Immigrants should not try to set up their own minority communities as it will lead to conflict between different groups society.
Immigrants should study and adopt the local culture of their new country.

Do you agree with this statement?
Discuss both views.

Write at least 250 words.

 

Third IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Celebrities do not deserve to earn higher salaries than people working in health, government or education.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Write at least 250 words.

 

IELTS writing Task 1 Academic advert displays

Writing Task 1

 

Second IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Governments should spend more on the causes of crime, such as social deprivation. Rather than spending money on police forces and prisons, which  is an endless cycle.

To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons in your answer.

Write at least 250 words

 

First IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

A single person can do almost nothing to change society. Therefore any new changes can only be implemented by governments.
To what extent do you agree.

You should give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples.
Write at least 250 words.

Share

152 Comments

  1. Mich says:

    What will happen if I don’t write 250 words in 40 minutes? Will I lose marks?

    • admin says:

      Hi Mich,
      Yes you will lose marks if you do not write a minimum of 250 words.
      Hope this helps!

    • Huong Tran says:

      the first time i learn how to write
      i hope you help me to have better writing passage
      question:technology has contributed greatly to our life,morever jobs: musicians, artists , painters are also meaningful. What can art do
      to our life, write a passage 120 words on the topic

      Nowaday, despite the great contributions of technology we can not deny the roles of arts in our life. As you know , there are many things that art can do for our life but science cannt .first, art supports and enhance the friendships among other countries around the world through the global exhitations or art galleries. You can find the historical events or stories through the paints exhibited in museums. Morever , it make our human life meaningful, happy. For me , art is one of things that escapes animal’s exstince. For examples, you can get relaxed when you listen to music after hard- working. And you can enjoy the song s that suits to your feelings ,especially when you are sad or happy. Its also bring to you the loves when the boyfriend espresses his love to you by a song given only for you. Indeed no life is without art
      thank you so much!

      • admin says:

        Hi Huong this a really good try, so well done!
        If it is an academic essay try to avoid using ‘you’.
        I have corrected some mistakes, see below.

        Nowadays, despite the great contributions of technology we can not deny the roles of arts in our life. As you know , there are many things that art can do for our lives, which science cannot. Firstly, art supports and enhances the friendships among countries around the world through the global exhibitions or art galleries. You can find the historical events or stories through the paints exhibited in museums. Morever , it makes our life meaningful and happy. For me, art is one of the things that escapes animal’s exstince. For example, you can relax when you listen to music after hard work. You can also enjoy songs that suits your feelings, especially when you are sad or happy. It also brings you love, for instance when a boyfriend espresses his love to you by a song given only for you. Indeed no life is without art.
        thank you so much!

        Good luck with your writing!

        • Huong Tran says:

          dear admin
          with the question:”:technology has contributed greatly to our life,morever jobs: musicians, artists , painters are also meaningful. What can art do for our life but science can not.”
          my teacher says that i have made failed topic sentence, and failed concludiing sentence….. what can you explain for me?
          thank you very much

          • admin says:

            Hi Huong, in the IELTS test you cannot ‘fail’ a topic sentence or a conclusion. However a clear topic sentence will improve the cohesion of the essay. I think it is probably best if you speak to your teacher.

    • Huong Tran says:

      dear admin
      the question:” military should be limited to only men”. do you agree or disagree? write a paragraph about 120 words:

      Strength is the important reason that military should be limited to only men. To meet the serious demands of army needs strong people who are williing to do any tasks at any situations. Women are too weak to carry heavy weapons that is estential in a battle. Moreover, soldiers have to practise under the hard weather which women are difficult to suffer. In the battlefield, they struggle with diseases .Because they are under the threat of dangerous animals like mosquito which transmits malaria to humans. Many recently medical researchers show that men need less time to become better than women . accordingly, men should be chosen to take part “military.
      please help me

      • Huong Tran says:

        indeed i want to know the band score that i can get

      • admin says:

        Dear Huong

        First of all, I need to ask you why you have only written one paragraph to answer the essay question. To fully answer the question you need to write at least 250 words with a minimum of 4 paragraphs which include the introduction, two main bodies and a conclusion. You have only written 110 words which would severely jeopardize your score. The essay can either be thesis led where you either agree or disagree, or you could write a balanced argument essay. The truth is that you would lose two or 3 bands for task achievement if you wrote an essay of this length. Although you have included some good lexis and a attempted complex sentences, it is unlikely you would get higher than a band 3 for this essay. You have made mistakes such as omitting the article in the second sentence and used the wrong preposition (at any situations). You also made a mistake with subject/verb agreement (weapons that is). You also made some mistakes with linkers (Because) and a punctuation mistake (accordingly). Please see the corrected version below. It would be better if you could write the whole essay and then we could take another look at it.

        Best regards

        The admin team

        Strength is the important reason that the military should be limited to only men. To meet the serious demands of an army needs strong people who are willing to do any task in any situation. Women are too weak to carry heavy weapons that are essential in a battle. Moreover, soldiers have to practise in hard weather which women find difficult to endure. In the battlefield, they struggle with diseases because they are under the threat of dangerous animals like mosquitoes which transmit malaria to humans. Many recent medical researchers show that men need less time to become better than women . Accordingly, men should be chosen to take part in the military.
        please help me

  2. Wajeeha Tariq says:

    Can you please tell me how much bands can I get in this essay?

    You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
    Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
    Following topic.
    In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as
    Completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning
    And taking responsibility.
    What are your opinions on this?
    You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with
    Examples and relevant evidence.
    You should write at least 250 words.

    Children are human beings who haven’t attained the age of puberty. They are the future of the nation. It is disagreed that children should engage in some kind of paid work. This will be proven in by justifying that what kind of environment needed by children as well as how can children become successful person.
    Naturally, if children focus on work then how can they take interest in their studies or get time for their studies. Therefore, it is difficult to perform both duties even for young or adult people. Thus, children had better not involved in any kind of paid work.
    Experience and taking responsibility is necessary for young or adult. For instance, if people want their children to learn through practical life then it should be a part of education. As an instance, projects should be given to children and with the help of projects children learn to take responsibility and get experience. Money can make children greedy and children in this way don’t work for getting an education instead they work for getting money. After analyzing this it is clear that children don’t need to involve in any kind of paid work.
    Following the analysis of a child’s life towards children’s education as well as practical approach it can be said that children don’t have any need to involve in paid work. Although it can be part of projects for training or improve different kinds of skills.

    • admin says:

      Dear Wajeeha
      Thank you for posting your essay on the site. You would obtain approximately a band 5-5.5 for this essay. The essay has been well thought out but it is only 240 words in length and you would lose a band for Task Response. You have used cohesive devices but cohesion between sentences is sometimes faulty. You should try to follow a 4 paragraph essay plan and keep your introduction and conclusion in separate paragraphs. Be careful with the use of cohesive devices too because “as an instance” is an incorrect phrase and the linker ‘although’ is used inappropriately. You have used a mix of simple and complex sentence forms which is good but the complex sentences are less accurate. You have made other mistakes such as omitting “get” when you write “children don’t need to involve in any kind of paid work” Overall, it is a good attempt and I hope the advice is useful. I hope you continue to use the site since we will be adding more content in the coming weeks.

      • Wajeeha Tariq says:

        Thank you very much. It is very helpful for me. I will work on my mistake and it is easy now to correct it.

  3. [...] Third IELTS Writing Task 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Celebrities do not deserve to earn higher  [...]

  4. Nguyen Anh says:

    Dear

    Can you please tell me how many bands I can get in this essay? It would be great if you can mark on each criteria. Please tell me how I can improve my score also. Thank you so much for your help

    Topic: Schools should teach children the academic subjects which have a close relationship with their future careers, so other subjects like music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    In recent years, educational curricula have never failed to attract people’s attention and spark controversy. Some educators adopt a view that entertainment-related subjects such as music and sports should be cancelled in exchange for more core subjects which have a direct relation with students’ future employability; however, it is my firm belief that learning music and sports at schools does good for children in a multitude of aspects.
    People should first recognize that integrating music and sports courses in the curriculum enables children to obtain a balanced life. Anecdotal evidence shows that when young learners exert themselves for academic subjects only without spending time on relaxing and refreshing themselves by music and playing sports, they are over time prone to suffer from boredom, fatigue, depression, autism, and many more maladies. Subsequently, these physical and mental problems negatively affect children’s studying results. Ignoring the essential role of these more entertaining subjects is thus a grave mistake.
    Yet, perhaps the strongest argument in favour of this theory is the positive influences of arts and recreation courses on learners’ future careers. It is no exaggeration to say that enjoying music and playing sports leaves individuals more room for creativity and skill-enhancement. Playing a sport with a team, for instance, assists children to improve a myriad of skills such as communication, teamwork, and leadership, which are critical to their careers later in their lives. Giving high weight to music and sports at schools is thereby highly recommended.
    The above-mentioned facts have given one a glimpse of the benefits of learning music and sports to children’s development. Not only does it help them to balance studying and relaxation but also gives them an advantage in their later career path.

  5. admin says:

    Dear Nguyen Anh

    This essay is extremely well written, addresses the task and has fully extended and well supported ideas. You have managed all aspects of cohesion very well and information and ideas have been logically sequenced. Just make sure that your paragraphing is clear and although this is a thesis led essay you still need to mention the opposing view before refuting it. I think it is a good idea to adopt a 4 paragraph plan. You have used a wide range of vocabulary which includes some uncommon lexical items such as ‘’a myriad of skills’’. You have used a wide range of grammatical structures which are also largely accurate. However, you should have written ‘’in improving’’ instead of ‘to improve’’. You would achieve a band score of around 8 for this essay. I wish you all the best in the IELTS test and hope you take on board what I have said. I suggest looking at further models of Writing task 2 essays which we will be publishing on the site in the coming weeks.

  6. Linh Pham says:

    Dear
    Could you please tell me which band I can get in this writing and give me some instructions ? Thank you so much for your help!

    Topic: Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money.
    What are your opinions on this?

    With the present of banks or loan resource centers, people are supported by a loan to invest in their bussinesses. However, they tend to over related to these loan resources which can lead to a debt repayment impossible. Therefore, it is considered whether there should be more difficult conditions for borrowing. In my opinion, I partly agree with this suggestion due to its motivation and justification for loaners.

    The first reason is that the difficulty in borrowing money will be a motivation for loaners who try their best in finding out the way to repay. For example, if you were agreement with many requirements for borrowing, the loan itself thus will be more valuable because you need to put more effort on it. As a result, you will want to pay this debt as soon as posible. In case of borrowing money is so easy you will not appreciate it because you can have a loan everytime you want. At the end, it will be a “disaster” results in a debt that you cannot afford to pay back.

    The second reson is that there will be more justification for loaners. It is obvious that if one person can get lots of loans he/she will reduce the opportunity for others. For instance, if one man makes 3 different loans due to the flexible in borrowing, he definitely will take away a chance from another one because the loan budget is the same. Therefore it declines the loaner’s number.
    However, if there is more difficult for people to make an individual loan, it will be a challenging for people whoes qualifications do not fit the requestments as poor people. Thus it should have a flexible contract for these people.

    In conclusion, whilst loans can help people go through their bussiness troubles, it can also run up a huge debt repayment impossible. It should therefore be added more requirements for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. However, it also should have a flexible contract for unqualitified borrowers who really need helps.

  7. admin says:

    Hi Linh Pham,
    Thanks for submitting your writing.
    This writing would probably receive around a band 5.
    The structure of the essay is good and you have used paragraphs well. Your position in relation to the question is clear. You have also given relevant examples.
    However there are a number of spelling mistakes (e.g. business, reason…). You have also used the wrong type of words in sentences, which effects the form of the sentence (e.g. flexible = adjective, should be flexibility = noun).
    You have used fairly simple sentence structures; you should try and show more complex sentences, using more relative clauses.
    I hope this helps!

  8. Wajeeha Tariq says:

    Do you think is there any improvement If not how can I improve my writing?

    At most people send a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfactions an important element of individual wellbeings.
    what factors contribute to job satisfaction?
    how realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

    Job satisfaction has been a debatable issue since 18 centuries. Adult usually spend their time at work if they do not satisfy from their job, they suffer from tension, frustration, depression or some may suicide but luckily it is rare. Although it is very difficult for an organization to satisfy their workers but without satisfying workers an organization can never earn optimistic profit.
    There are many factors effecting on job satisfaction. First, there should not be work overload because it may result in errors or mistake in the work or worker may feel depressed. The environment in which staff, managers or workers are working should be clean and comfortable. The owners should talk to worker politely. There ought to be someone in organizations who teach all the people how to work effectively. In this way, efficiency not only for individuals but also for an organization rises as a result there would be high profit and thus high salaries for workers. So, all these factors are interdependent and strongly contributing towards job satisfaction.
    If all above the facilities are provided to workers then workers will be satisfied. In many organization workers are fully satisfied and they proud to be a part of that company likes Applebite. However, many workers from different organizations are not satisfied with their jobs because proper facilities are not available to them.
    In a nutshell, an employee should try to find interest in his job. If he enjoys his job then he find it to enjoy his life.

  9. Wajeeha Tariq says:

    i have submitted my essay why didn’t you approve it?

    • admin says:

      Thank you for submitting your essay Tariq. First, I need to mention that this is a good attempt at answering the question and you have put forward some very good ideas. However, I would suggest you follow a 4 paragraph essay plan. In your essay you give a list of factors which effect job satisfaction and you failed to use supporting detail, apart from the final sentence in the second paragraph. It is better to write fewer ideas and add supporting detail to each idea. In the third paragraph you need to mention whether the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers is a reality. You put forward a couple of ideas but again you really need to add supporting detail. This question has not been covered in as much detail as the previous one. Your conclusion should be put in a separate paragraph with a better explanation. You use a good variety of linkers in this essay and you achieve grammatical accuracy to a large extent. You do however, make mistakes with singular/plural forms and you need to be careful with subject/verb agreement. You would achieve a band score of 5-5.5 for this essay.

  10. indrianifeni says:

    this the first time,i found u on facebook.can you give me trick to make a good sentences,,because my structure so bad.
    thanks before

  11. zeeshan says:

    well plz tell me about the sentences .how can I strong my sentences

  12. admin says:

    Hi Indrianifeni and Zeeshan.
    Could you tell me what you find difficult when writing sentences and for which section of the writing 1 or 2?
    Do you find the grammar difficult?

  13. sadiaarshad says:

    Please can check this writing task 1 and let me know how many band i get on this report.

    The purpose of writing this report is to analyze the time spent by UK residents on calls during the years 1995- 2002.

    The bar chart compares the different types of call made during the 7 years. It shows that local call were at its peak in 1990 and people spent around 90 billion minutes on it however it was low in 2002, approximately 72 billion minutes. Whereas calls made via mobiles were higher in 2002 around 43 billion minutes and it was dramatically low in 1995; which was just about 3 billion minutes. On the other hand, people spent around 61 billion minutes on national and international calls and it was low in 1995 around 38 billion minutes. The graph shows that the local calls fluctuated throughout the 7 years, it maybe happened because of affordable charges of local calls.

    In a nutshell, local, national and international calls remained popular during 1995-2002. It showed people probably liked to make calls from fixed line because of fixed and affordable rates.

    • admin says:

      Hi, thanks for posting.

      Because this is WT1 I really need to see the bar charts to give you complete feedback.

      But, here are a few pointers: This is Writing Task 1 so do NOT speculate or give your opinion (‘It showed people probably liked to make calls from fixed line because of fixed and affordable rates’).
      You need to improve your punctuation (comma after however) and some of your sentences are too long – they contain too many topics, which make some points unclear (It shows that local call were at its peak in 1990 and people spent around 90 billion minutes on it however it was low in 2002, approximately 72 billion minutes).

      But, you have used some nice vocabulary, you have given evidence and the structure is good.

      I hope this helps!
      Please like us on Facebook! and Share this site with your friends!
      Thanks and good luck!

  14. bungamayang says:

    Dear Admin/Checker

    Could you please let me have the evaluation and explanation about my writing test below?

    Question:
    Celebrities such as singers and film stars earn too much money, buy too many goods and care too little about other people.
    To what extent do you think this is true?
    Should anything be done to change the situation?

    Answer:
    In entertainment, it is obviously known that popular actresses or actors as well as singers are well-paid linearly with their performance. Some of the people think that they acquire too much money compare to other job such as engineer or doctor and less care about carrying other people and also tend to spend too much money to purchase personal stuff. Even tough those are the opinion of many people, there are many things in fact which are not exposed by media.

    We know lifestyle of the popular people from the media. We often watch entertainment programs in the television expose the behavior of the people where they are in public and shows many activities which related to spend money, for instance, in shopping mall. We had better think that sometime the television shows the programs which the audience want and contain controversy to attract the audiences awareness.

    I suggest, we have to collect information about person as much as possible before judging what is the character and personality of certain people. in many cases , actors and actresses may have the tendency to buy certain things which they believe can satisfy them because doing so and this is the action which is caught by the media’s camera(s) and then shown on the television. while other good activities, for instance charity, is better to be unrealized by other people at all (in some religion point of view). Moreover, there is a peak when the people are in their maximum position and this last only for certain period of time so let them have the opportunity to use this appropriately (to do activities which they aim).

    in my view, some of good activities such are also better to be shown to the public as a good example which can trigger other to do so. As a good influence in people mind, media should give the programmes about the popular people which are good and influencing especially activities that relating to others.

    • admin says:

      Hi Bungamayang,
      Thanks for submitting your essay.
      This essay would probably receive around 3.5 to 4.
      You have tried to use some good vocabulary and your structure and use of paragraphs is good.
      However, you need to make sure you Answer the Question, you go a little off topic and you do not address the question: ‘Should anything be done to change the situation?’ Which means you would lose marks for task response.
      There are also problems with your use of prepositions (in the television, in shopping mall – should be on the television and at the shopping mall).
      Make sure you capitalize the first letter following a full stop.
      I hope this advice helps!
      Please like us on our Facebook page and share the site with your friends.

      Thanks & Good luck!

      • bungamayang says:

        Thank you so much for your reply, that is very kind of you.

        • bungamayang says:

          you mean, if I add more sentences to conclude whether anything should be changed or not as my conclusion it would add big mark? for example if I add the following sentences after my last paragraph

          As a conclusion, there are anythings should be changed regarding to those popular people behavior but the only things that we need to change are how the way we look at other people and be more positive while we looking at others.

          thank You

          • admin says:

            Hi Bungamayang,
            In your conclusion make clear how far you agree with the statement and say whether you think something should be done.

  15. bungamayang says:

    Thank you so much for your kindness,

  16. bungamayang says:

    If you don’t mind, i will submit another essay from my self-study practice

    Question: Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.

    To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

    Answer: In many big cities, many people come from other areas with different level of social economic background. A lot of people assume that children from poor families are better prepared in facing any kind of matters of adult life than the children from prosperous families.

    It may be the case that the children from wealthy families are well-looked after by their parents. Moreover, the parents don’t allow the children to suffer from any kind of situations and they will think that as long as money can provide their children a better life, the parents don’t hesitate to use money. Eventually, the children will have never had any experience in facing problems or in the suffering situations so they won’t learn how to cope a problem in a good way or even act appropriately in any kind of hard situations.

    On the other hand, sometimes it can be seen that the children whose parents are poor are more mature and calm than the children from the rich families. The children often do not have any options in their activities. For instance, naturally as a children, they are interested in toys and dolls but their parents can not buy it for them and they have no options about it so the children will learn how to be patient. In addition, the children have to face some problems without any supervision from their parents. For instance, if the school is far away from their home and they have no vehicle for the transportation and they have no options except using public transportation which is not only uncomfortable but also poorly managed. As a result, they have to struggle with any kind of problems which might occur there such as crime so they they will learn how to solve this type of situation.

    In my opinion, it should be considered that there are a lot of things which are only can be learnt in hard or suffering situations which possibly change children be more mature, rational and patient so I believe that children who come from unfortunate families are better prepared than children from wealthy families.

    Once again many thanks for your kindness to spare your time to check my essay.

  17. vo ngan giang says:

    dear admin! i really appreciate what you’ve done for other students here. so if you can check and remark on my essay below, it’s really a favor to me. thanks for your assitance in advance. :) )
    The effect of the increased travel between countries has been a negative or positive??
    Globalization is a catch-all term that refers to any activities involving more than one country, for example, travels from one country to another. The dramatic increase in transnational travel in recent years has sparked controversy over the potential impacts of this trend on individual countries, especially those member states of, globalization. Some people are concern the influx of new arrivals will pose a threat of local hostility against visitors instead of expanding their horizons about mutual cultural background. It is my position that the benefits of this trend far out-weight its drawbacks.
    Not surprisingly, whenever people talk about international travel- Cultural understanding- is possibly the first words that spring to mind. Because of personal motives such as discovery, exploration or building interpersonal relationships, more and more people are possible to broaden their knowledge of broad walks of life with long-distance journeys abroad. One particular salient instance of this is- postgraduate students- whom always take chance on strengthening their awareness like culture, society, technology, particularly which involves in hands-on experiences as well as job-related competences- pursue their advanced studies abroad. By travelling and acquiring various beneficial features of travelling regions, may opens up possibility for them to exchange their knowledge and to adopt new views.
    Another major justification for fostering transnational travels is economical motives for either arrivals or locals. In the globally business development, more and more investors and entrepreneurs can set target to expand their operations not only in the domestic market but also in oversea environment, which serves as a prerequisite for global economy. As a visible example, the UAE’s commercial climate towards foreign cooperation, investment and modernization has fostered diplomatic and commercial relationships with other countries. It comes as no surprises that UAES recently has demonstrated its economical prosperity as ranked among 14th leading nations in commerce-market. Therefore, travels can create incentives to earn profits for both parties.
    Indisputably, international travel- occasionally- poses a threat of discrepancy between indigenous inhabitants and newcomers, which might be rooted in under-lying forces such as religious beliefs, ethnic origins or code of behaviors. That generally provokes the opposition of inhabitants leading to their subsequent protests, more importantly, hampering their ties ever. These are by no mean insurmountable, if foreigners discover the conventional norms of region prior to entering, along with local people’s hospitality to visitors in exchange for their mutual trust. Admittedly, a prerequisite for sustainable cooperation is the acceptance of other’s cultural background.

  18. admin says:

    It is difficult for me to give concise feedback, because I am unsure of what the question/task is.

    But you have obviously tried very hard with this essay. You have used some really good vocabulary and good sentence structures. You give your opinion in the introduction, which makes your position clear.
    However, there are some problems with punctuation. You should avoid using ‘–‘, they are not formal, commas can normally replace these. Also check your use of plurals (‘can set target’- should be targets and ‘Therefore, travels’ should be travel)

    You should try to summarize your previous points in your conclusion and clearly give your answer (like you did in the introduction).

    I hope this helps!

    Please like our facebook page and share this site with your friends!

    Thanks & Good luck!

  19. vo ngan giang says:

    your remarks are knida useful to me. and can i ask you a favour. could you plaese give a score. oh: this is the real question: increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries.
    if “travels ” is used in the question, should i also use : travels in stead of travel in my essay. thank for your help

    • admin says:

      Hi Giang,
      Sorry for the late reply. The essay would probably receive around 5-5.5 (because of lack of task response). When to use travel, or travels depends on the sentence structure and context you are using it.

  20. Arsalan says:

    Admin. please check this essay and let me know how many bands i can achieve on the basis of this essay. Thanks in advance.

    Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

    A child is responsibility of both parents and they have equal importance in child upbringing. Although there are many good arguments in favor of fathers that they should only concentrate on their job and mother should take sole responsibility of child up bring however, I personally believe that it’s not fair to put complete load of child on mother when child rearing is responsibility of father also.
    To begin with, father’s responsibility is not only to earn bread and fulfill financial needs of children but also to contribute in other daily life affairs of children like helping them in studies, playing with them and keeping check and balance on their daily routine. This will not only give opportunities to father to know their children closely but will also build strong bond between father and kids. And, mostly fathers are bit strict than mothers so this way it will also give sense to child that his father is always having eyes on his activities so he may think twice before getting involved in any wrong activity.

    Secondly, there was a time when females were likely to be housewives but as time has changed now a mostly women are doing jobs outside. In this way, it’s difficult for them to bring their children up in right way and spend quality time with them. However, if both partners realize their duties and give equal time to their children then this problem can be solved easily. For instance, if mother is doing job in morning then father should spend time in morning hours and in father absence, mother should give time to child.

    To sum up, father plays significant in any child’s life same as mother, no matter whether it is concerning with child’s schooling or other daily routine issues. It is necessary for parents to realize their responsibilities for bringing up child in good way.

  21. admin says:

    Hi Arsalan,
    Thanks for posting your essay.
    This is a good attempt at the essay question. Your opinion is clear and you clearly answer the question and you give evidence to support your arguments.The structure of the essay is also good.
    But you need to improve your use of articles or use of plurals, this is a common mistake throughout the essay (e.g. ‘in child’, should be: ‘in a child’s’, and mother, should be:’ and mothers’ or ‘and the mother’).
    You have tried to use some linking phrases but some are used incorrectly (e.g. ‘bring however, I personally…’).
    Given these reasons the essay would probably receive around a band 5.
    I hope this helps!
    Please like our facebook page and share this site with your friends!
    Thanks & Good luck!

  22. Hey admin
    plx check this essay and let me know that how bands can i get…
    In some countries.it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to .
    get good jobs,despite thier experience.
    what do you think are the cause of this problem,and what measures could be taken to solve it?

    Job means doing some work for other people or for ourself .doing something for other people means for them under thier observation.job is a very good thing for a person because it makes our personality and gives us many experiences of our life…it is totally agreed that it can be very difficult to get job for those people who are above 50.this will be proven by analyzing that there is a lack of jobs in my country and the companies need new experience and new young energetic generation…
    it seems to me that there is a lack of jobs in my country.unemployment is a big issue .let me illustrate when people of above 50 go somewhere in the sake of getting job the owner of that company don’t give the job because they have only sufficient vaccinces.As you know that my country is suffering from many financial issues so in this case this is very difficult for the people to get job.overall it is very difficult for old people to get job.
    I tend to think that companies need new experience and new energetic young generation.for example,new generation have new experience.As you know this is the age of technology and this work need s new experience and generation who can work more then old people.As you know young people of my country want to make progress so thts why they need new work new inventions ..to conclude it is obvious that the people of above 50 cac not get good jobs easily.
    Following the analysis of lack of jobs and need of new experiences show that it is really very difficult for these people get job.
    Government should pay attention for these type of people and they are supposed to do something for them like they apppoint pension for these so they should live their life easily and then they never need to do jobs.

    • admin says:

      Dear Horeen

      You have made a good attempt at answering the question and I commend you for this. However, you have only partially addressed the task. Although you have mentioned the causes of the problem you haven’t gone into enough detail about how to solve it. You really need to be careful with punctuation because you often begin a new sentence using lower case. You must always begin a new sentence using capital letters. You have used complex sentences in this essay which is good but flexibility is limited and when using comparatives, you need to be careful. You need to write ….more than…… Regarding lexis, you need to use synonyms. You keep repeating the word “job” when you could use other words such as “work” or “career” etc. One more thing to mention is paragraphing. I would advise you to use a 4 paragraph structure that includes the introduction, a paragraph mentioning the causes, a paragraph mentioning how to solve the problem and a conclusion. You have some good ideas in this essay but you need to use more linkers to make it more cohesive.

      I hope this helps

      Good luck

      The admin team

      • admin says:

        Dear Horeen

        I forgot to mention that you would probably achieve a band score of around 4.5 for this essay.

  23. Arsalan says:

    Hi,

    Admin, I hope you are doing well. Please check my essay and let me know how many bands I can achieve ??

    Money is the single motivational factor for success in any work field.’ How far you agree with this?

    Money is often considered as utmost attracting factor for stimulating people in almost all fields of life. People often don’t take other motivational factors into consideration like self-recognition, career growth, different incentives and bonuses, certificates, rewards or shields and paid leave, which are also equally essential aspects for motivating people. Although, there are many good arguments in favor of money factor but I personally believe that motivation bring from any of above factor and it’s vary person to person.

    First of all, we need to know that all people have different needs and different factors those motivate them. There are many people who give importance to peer-to-peer recognition. For example: if employer assigns some task to one team and when one of team member performs well among all, and his employer praise him in front of many people then the person feels much more gratification than anything else and this thing encourage him to show much better performance than before.

    Furthermore, people often like to have paid leaves than getting money reward. After, working consecutively nine or ten months, a person likes to take some leaves which don’t affect his monthly salary. Like, people love to visit hill stations and different holiday destinations with their family members where they can free their mind from all workplace tensions. Moreover, others may like to have different appraisal certificates and shields, which helps not only stimulate them but also helps them in getting good jobs in future and ensure their career growth.

    In a nutshell, money is undeniable motivational factor as there are still many people who feel motivated by having money reward that can at least fulfill their existing need. But motivational factors depend on individual need and not all people feel motivated by having some dollars in hand.

    • admin says:

      Dear Arsalan

      I think this essay is very well structured. You have put it into 4 paragraphs and used some good linkers to make it cohesive. I have copied your essay and corrected it. It is sometimes better to give you a corrected version as it helps you to recognise your mistakes more easily. As it stands, this essay would probably achieve a Band score of about 5-5.5. You have made a series of grammatical mistakes which need to be rectified. Please see the corrected version below:

      Money is often considered to be the most important factor in stimulating people in almost all fields of life. People often don’t take other motivational factors into consideration like self-recognition, career growth, different incentives and bonuses, certificates, rewards or shields and paid leave, which are also equally essential aspects for motivating people. Although there are many good arguments in favor of money, I personally believe that although motivation varies from person to person, it is a very important factor.

      First of all, we need to know that all people have different needs and there are different factors that motivate them. There are many people who give importance to peer-to-peer recognition. For example: if an employer assigns some tasks to one team and the situation arises that one of the team members performs well among them all, his employer might praise him in front of many people. In this case, the person feels much more gratification than anything else and this thing encourages him to perform better than before.

      Furthermore, people often like to have paid leave instead of getting a financial reward. After working consecutively for nine or ten months, a person likes to take some leave which doesn’t affect his monthly salary. For example, people love to visit hill stations and different holiday destinations with their family members where they can free their mind from all the tension that exists in the workplace. Moreover, others may like to have different appraisal certificates and shields, which help not only to stimulate them but also help them in getting good jobs in the future and ensure their career growth.

      In a nutshell, money is an undeniable motivational factor as there are still many people who feel motivated by having a financial reward that can at least fulfill their existing needs. But motivational factors depend on individual needs and not all people feel motivated by having some dollars in their hands.

  24. vo ngan giang says:

    Hey admin
    plx check this essay and let me know that how bands can i get, with the question is:

    IN THE FUTURE, IT IS EXPECTED THAT THERE WILL BE HIGHER PROPORTION OF OLDER PEOPLE IN SOME COUNTRIES. IN YOUR OPINION, IT THIS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE?

    IN THE RECENT YEARS, AEGING POPULATION HAS NEVER FAILED TO ATTRACT PEOPLE’S ATTENTION AND SPARKED CONTROVERSY. YET, SOME COMMENTATORS ADOPT A VIEW THAT THE POPULATION WILL WITNESS A MODIFICATION IN RESPECT OF FEWER CHILDREN AND MORE SENIOR CITIZENS. WHILST THERE ARE SOLID ARGUMENTS ON THE CONTRARY; IT IS MY POSITION THAT THE ADVANTAGES OF AN AGEING SOCIETY FAR OUTWEGHT ITS DRAWBACKS. THE TWO PRIMARY BENEFITS OF THIS TREND ARE AS FOLLOWS.

    FIRST OF ALL, WHENEVER PEOPLE TALK ABOUT AEGING SOCIETY, WORKING POPULATION IS PROPBABLY THE FIRST WORDS THAT SPRING TO MIND. THE PERCEPTION THAT OLDER LABOR WILL ENTAIL LESS PRODUCTIVITY, TO THE DETRIMENT OF ECONOMIC PROSPERITY IS UNGROUNDED; BECAUSE NOWADAYS THEY PROBABLY POSSESS A MYRIAD OF COMPETENCES AND NECESSARY SKILLS RATHER THAN THE JUNIOR. IT IS NO EXAGGERATION TO SAY THAT, WITH ACCUMULATED EXPERIENCES OVERTIME, THEY HAVE OBTAINED HANDS-ON KNOWLEDGE, RESILIENCE AND ADAPTABILITY. ALL OF WHICH ENABLE THEM TO BE IN THE GOOD FORM IN COPING WITH CURRENT EVER-CHANGING EVIRONMENT. OBVIOULY, YOUNGER PEOPLE CANNOT ADDRESS THESES CHALLENGINGS AS EFFECTIVELY AS THEM. IGNORING THE MAGNITUDE OF THE SENIOR IN THIS ASPECT IS THUS A GRAVE MISTAKE.

    FURTHER AND EVEN MORE SUBSTANTIAL, THOUGH, IS CONSIDERABLE CONTRIBUTIONS OF THE ELDERLY TO CHARITABLE ACTIVITES and to social well-being at large. DESPITE THE RISK OF HEALTH-RELATED DISORDERS that occur occasionally to them, many of whom are prone to live in good physical condition. With enthusiasm and optimism, for instance, they generally play a critical role in charity organization, in voluntary campaign or in orphanage; they not just facilitate impoverished families with funding aids and specific knowledge of improving living standard, but also convey living spirit as well as job creation to millions of disable children or homeless people. Senior citizens pursuing charity purposes have played a critical role to social welfare.

    By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my strong belief that more elderly people will not pose a threat to the socioeconomic development. Their immense contributions and sacrifices should be socially recognized as an inevitable part of society.

    • admin says:

      Dear Giang

      This is a very well written essay and you have maintained a clear position throughout. You have addressed all parts of the task and supported main ideas. You have logically organised information and ideas and there is a clear progression throughout. One thing to note is that you cannot begin a sentence by saying ” All of which…” You should have used this language to join the sentences together. The lexis is excellent in this essay but you have made a few spelling mistakes (propbably – probably, outweight – outweigh, theses – these, challengings – challenges, eviroment – environment) and you would lose marks for this. You would achieve approximately Band 7 – 7.5 for this essay.

      Best regards

      The admin team

  25. Hey Admin.
    Plx check this essay and let me know that how bands can i achieve.The question is:
    In many countries these days,the number of people continuing their education after school has increased,and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased.
    DO you think it is positive or negative development?

    Education is the most important part of our life and necessary for all human beings.The mainstream of education is to make the people well mannered and discipline.By getting education we can polish ourself and our children..Mostly people say that there are many people who do not continue their studies after school their are many reasons like sometime students not get enough fascilities to achieve their goal or sometime they never get good subjects or good institutes to continue..In this way it would be a positive development .It will be proven by following points:Modern age needs modern education and it also helps in all the fields of life.

    I firmly believe that modern age needs modern education.As you know that this is the age of information and technology and this period has given many wonders to our life there are many new inventions of this era which can not be use without have any experience or knowledge.For instance,there are many new machines like ATM,laptop,tablet,generators and etc which can not be done by a common people untill he have information of using these things.This age needs modern education which should be up-to-date according to requirments. Overall it should be say that increment in education and new subjects is very good and students had better get high education.

    I tend to think that study is such a good aspect of our life which helps us in all the fields of our life.In my experience if we have to go in other countries of the world we should have knowledge about every thing about the whole world .It can only gain when we study new and different subjects and we can also communicate with them easily,By this i mean to say that when we get high education it will be very usefull for our country we can promote our buisness to other countries and expand our industries.To sum up it is obvious that education has no limits it should b get untill u lose your courage and it should be expand time by time.

    Following analysis show that to what extant education is important for our life.and it is a very good and positive development …In future it should be increase more and more according to the need of society and students are supposed to avail its benefits as much as thay can because it will help in the progress of the world.

    Now plx check and tell me where i am standing now i hope u will like it. Thankx

    • admin says:

      Dear Horeen
      Your essay is very well constructed and you have made it cohesive. You would achieve a Band 6 if you had made fewer grammatical mistakes. This is an area you really need to work on. At the moment you are looking at a Band Score of about 5.5. Please see my corrected version below:

      Education is the most important part of our life and necessary for all human beings.The mainstream of education is to make people well mannered and disciplined . By getting education we can improve ourselves and our children. Most people say that there are many people who do not continue their studies after school. There are many reasons for this such as students not get enough facilities to achieve their goals or sometimes they never get good subjects or good institutes to continue studying in. In this way it would be a positive development. It will be proven by the following points:Modern age needs modern education and it also helps in all areas of life.

      I firmly believe that the modern age needs modern education. As you know, this is the age of information and technology and this period has given many wonders to our lives. There are many new inventions of this era which cannot be used without having any experience or knowledge. For instance,there are many new machines like ATMs, laptops, tablets, and generators etc which can not be made by common people until they have information about using these things.This age needs modern education which should be up-to-date according to requirements. Overall, it should be said that increments in education and new subjects are very good and students had better get a high education.

      I tend to think that studying is such a good aspect of our lives which helps us immensely. In my experience if we have to go to other countries of the world we should have knowledge about everything on the planet. We can only get that when we study new and different subjects. By this I mean to say that when we get a high education it will be very useful for our country and we can promote our business to other countries as well as expanding our industries. To sum up it is obvious that education has no limits and learning should be something we do throughout our lives.
      The following analysis shows to what extent education is important for our lives and it is a very good and positive development. In future it should be increase d more and more according to the needs of society and students should reap its benefits as much as they can which will help in the progress of the world.

  26. vo ngan giang says:

    im really ecited as hearing all you’ve said, you are of great kind, thanks so much :) )

  27. Aakash says:

    Please tell me how many bands will I get for this essay??
    And it would be great if you tell me that how can I improve my writing skills.
    Topic: Aircraft use more fuel than cars and produces more pollution. Some people suggest the non essential use of aircraft like international travel should be discouraged. Do you agree or disagree?

    Although some people behave and argue that discourage the use of international aircraft will not effect the nature. I disagree to large extent that to use of international aircraft will effect more to nature and uses more fuel than the cars uses.

    Other believe that, the aircraft less time to reach the destination for the passengers. It is almost right that it uses high speed and make the all transportation very quickly. Furthermore that aircrafts too huge to transport the people more than 300 at the time to destination.

    In addition to make transportation at the huge platform. It is very easy for the transportation companies to import and export the materials up to in the tones. Moreover during the journey, in the bad weather it uses the technology that makes the aircraft steady at any conditions and keep passengers safe. Also make to reach them safe at their destination. So it is not wrong to say by others that it is very useful in today’s hectic life to make easy and make the world too short.

    The formost argument to support my view is using aircraft technology in today’s world is too dangerous for coming future life. The most important reason is, it uses more fuel than any other vehicles and produces more pollution. The first argument is that it makes more noise in the atmosphere and it is too dangerous for nature. The people who lives near the airport,they are very frustrate because of the noise created by the aircraft. It is too costly in the maintenance. Many lives gone because of the plane crash. The transportation fees are too high than other route transportation. Apart from this using the magnetic trains is too safe for nature as well as for the human life too.

    Thus, in the light of above discussion it can be summed up that, the uses of the air crafts is too dangerous for the future life. I believe that make the transportation easy by using the sea vehicles rather than make it simple by using the vehicles on the ground level like magnetic trains.

  28. Aakash says:

    Please tell me how many bands will I get for this essay??
    And it would be great if you tell me that how can I improve my writing skills.

    Topic: Aircraft use more fuel than cars and produces more pollution. Some people suggest the non essential use of aircraft like international travel should be discouraged. Do you agree or disagree?

    Although some people behave and argue that discourage the use of international aircraft will not effect the nature. I disagree to Amaru extent that to use of international aircraft will effect more to nature and uses more fuel than the cars uses.

    Other believe that, the aircraft less time to reach the destination for the passengers. It is almost right that it uses high speed and make the all transportation very quickly. Furthermore that aircrafts too huge to transport the people more than 300 at the time to destination.
    In addition to make transportation at the huge platform. It is very easy for the transportation companies to import and export the materials up to in the tones. Moreover during the journey, in the bad weather it uses the technology that makes the aircraft steady at any conditions and keep passengers safe. Also make to reach them safe at their destination. So it is not wrong to say by others that it is very useful in today’s hectic life to make easy and make the world too short.

    The formost argument to support my view is using aircraft technology in today’s world is too dangerous for coming future life. The most important reason is, it uses more fuel than any other vehicles and produces more pollution. The first argument is that it makes more noise in the atmosphere and it is too dangerous for nature. The people who lives near the airport,they are very frustrate because of the noise created by the aircraft. It is too costly in the maintenance. Many lives gone because of the plane crash. The transportation fees are too high than other route transportation. Apart from this using the magnetic trains is too sefe for nature as well as for the human life too.

    Thus, in the light of above discussion it can be summed up that, the uses of the air crafts is too dangerous for the future life. I believe that make the transportation easy by using the sea vehicles rather than make it simple by using the vehicles on the ground level like magnetic trains.

    • admin says:

      Dear Aakash

      This is a good effort. You have answered the question and you express a relevant position in the essay. However the essay is rather mixed up, the paragraphing is in the wrong order and you need to make it more cohesive. You have also included some irrelevant detail which I have omitted. You would probably achieve a band score of around 5 for this essay. Please see the corrected version below:

      Although some people believe and argue that discouraging the use of international aircraft will not effect nature, I believe that using airplanes will have a bigger effect on nature because it uses more fuel than cars.

      The foremost argument to support my view is that using aircraft technology in today’s world is too dangerous for future life. The most important reason is, it uses more fuel than any other vehicles and produces more pollution. Another argument is that it makes more noise in the atmosphere and it is too dangerous for nature. The people who live near the airport are very frustrated because of the noise pollution created by aircraft. Furthermore, the transportation fees are much higher than using other forms of transport. Apart from this, using alternative ways to travel such as magnetic trains is safer for nature as well as for human life.

      Other believe that catching a plane takes less time to reach the required destination for the passengers. It is right that aircraft travel at a high speed and allow people to get to their destinations very quickly. Furthermore, an aircraft is big enough to transport more than 300 people at a time to their desired location. In addition to carrying passengers, it is possible to transport many tonnes of materials by air which makes it very convenient for companies who wish to send items somewhere very quickly. Moreover, during the journey, if the weather is bad, a plane has the technology that makes it steady in any conditions and keeps passengers safe. It also allows them to reach their destination safely. So, it is not wrong for other people to say that it is very useful in today’s hectic life.

      Thus, in the light of above discussion it can be summed up that aircraft usage is too dangerous for future life. I believe that transportation can be made easier by using sea transport or vehicles on the ground like magnetic trains which both cause less harm to the environment.

      • Aakash says:

        Thanks admin for your Kind response, next time I’ll try my best to increase my intellectual for this all corrections and I’m sure that next time I’ll never despair you.. :)

  29. vo ngan giang says:

    Dear admin
    plzz check this essay and let me know that how bands can i get, you are of great help. with the question is:

    Some people think that telling the truth is not always essential. It is necessary to tell lies sometimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    In the context of modern-day life, the necessity of lying has never failed to attract people’s attention, bred ground for spirited debate and sparked controversy. Yet, whilst there are solid arguments on the contrary, I would contend with a position that the truth may not be always desired and untruth meanwhile can boost the most effective solutions on some occasions. The two primarily driving forces that foster my argument are as follows.

    First of all, it is indisputable justification that lying is not necessarily immoral, but carries the meaning of benevolence. It is no exaggeration to say that telling untruth, occasionally, is of paramount importance, which helps encourage one’s belief as he or she is facing to challenges. For instance, many experienced specialists are prone to recommend cancer patients’ loved ones to conceal part of the truth about their serious physical conditions. Serving as a healing power, this subsequently might promote the patients’ peaceful frame of mind, hearten their living spirits and meanwhile alleviate sufferings. Ignoring the magnitude of twisting facts on appropriate occasions for the aim of well-being of human being is thus a grave fallacy.

    Further and even more importantly, though, white lies generally play an absolutely pivotal role in fostering sustainable interactive relationships. A particularly salient example can be justified by friends who commonly compliment the zealous host on the foods prepared that seems not enjoyable in reality. This gesture is considered to signify their respects and goodwill. Despite the risk that if white lies are excessively exaggerated, it can go off at a tangent, to the detriment of mutual trust and long term relationships; I would argue that telling a lie is recommended in many situations, which has a potential to bolster the efficiency of interactive communication and build good relationships.

    By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my firm belief that although honesty is the core virtue in most parts of the world, in real life context, a lie occasionally proves its effectiveness rather than speaking something straightforward that can entail discomfort and distress.

    • admin says:

      Dear Giang

      This is an excellent piece of work. You clearly have a very high level of English and the ability to write a detailed, thesis-led essay. Your lexis and grammar are superb and the essay is cohesive. You are looking at a band score of around 8 for this essay. You made a couple of small grammatical mistakes which I have corrected but apart from that. You could perhaps mention the other point of view before refuting it. Please have a look at the corrected version below:

      In the context of modern-day life, the necessity of lying has never failed to attract people’s attention, bred ground for spirited debate and sparked controversy. Yet, whilst there are solid arguments on the contrary, I would contend with a position that the truth may not always be desired and untruths meanwhile can boost the most effective solutions on some occasions. The two primary driving forces that foster my argument are as follows.

      First of all, it is an indisputable justification that lying is not necessarily immoral, but carries the meaning of benevolence. It is no exaggeration to say that telling untruths, occasionally, is of paramount importance, which helps encourage one’s belief as he or she is facing up to challenges. For instance, many experienced specialists are prone to recommend cancer patients’ loved ones to conceal part of the truth about their serious physical conditions. Serving as a healing power, this subsequently might promote the patients’ peaceful frame of mind, hearten their living spirits and meanwhile alleviate sufferings. Ignoring the magnitude of twisting facts on appropriate occasions for the aim of well-being of a human being is thus a grave fallacy.

      Further and even more importantly, though, white lies generally play an absolutely pivotal role in fostering sustainable interactive relationships. A particularly salient example can be justified by friends who commonly compliment the zealous host on the food prepared that seems not to be enjoyable in reality. This gesture is considered to signify their respects and goodwill. Despite the risk that if white lies are excessively exaggerated, it can go off on a tangent, to the detriment of mutual trust and long term relationships; I would argue that telling a lie is recommended in many situations, which has a potential to bolster the efficiency of interactive communication and build good relationships.

      By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my firm belief that although honesty is the core virtue in most parts of the world, in a real life context, a lie occasionally proves its effectiveness rather than speaking something straightforward that can entail discomfort and distress.

  30. Aakash says:

    Please check and give response.

  31. Aakash says:

    Please check and tell me how many bands can I achieve for this essay. It’ll be great if u tell me corrections.

    Nowadays technology developments are causing environmental problems.Many people think that we should live a simpler life while others believe that technology can solve environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion :

    There is split opinion regarding the questions weather technology development is useful or causes the problems for environment. It is admitted that both views have their own benefits and drawbacks. Both the aspects and my opinion are discussed in detail further.

    Focusing on the for most view,it should be accepted that technology can solve the environmental problems. It made the life too easy for the farmers. They can live reliable life by using the technology to plant the tree and other crop. Some takes help of the internet to solve their problems with crop and also uses the advance techniques to ripe new types of crop. Moreover, the electronic gadgets are very useful to keep connected with eachother.

    On the other hand some people believes that the technology causes the problems of radiation. The whole world connected with the networks and that produces the radiation waves. However,using more internet is the bad habbit and now a days it seems in youngsters to the old peoples. Further some believes that the crop ripen by the help of the technology that contains less vitamins.

    Out of the two sets of the opinions, I prefer the former than the later. I favour that the technology can makes everything possible. Take out from hectic schedule and make easy and reliable life. We can keep the eyes on what’s going in the world and it keeps us updated in this fast going technological era. By using the gps technology we can get exact position that where we are now. Furthermore the computers are too useful. Students to the businessmen all have no tension to carry all the documents. Its all just cover into a small pen drives other needed data can available on the internet. So it helps to carry less burden. Moreover the technology helps to grow any type of crop in any season.

    Thus in light of above discussion it can be commented that, in today’s technological era its not wrong to say that in future we can get better types to grow crops and new ripen techniques will be available and that will be useful for mankind and as for environment too.

    • admin says:

      This is a good effort Aakash. However, you need to change the way you do your paragraphing since it is in the wrong order. You still make many grammatical mistakes which you need to sort out. You will still be struggling to achieve higher than a Band 5. You have used some good linkers and some good lexis but the essay needs more organization. You also need to add more supporting detail to main ideas. Please see the corrected version below:

      There is split opinion regarding the question of weather technological development is useful or causes problems for the environment. It can be admitted that both views have their own benefits and drawbacks. Both aspects and my opinion will be discussed in further detail.

      On the one hand some people believe that technology causes problems such as radiation. The whole world is connected with networks and they produce radiation waves. However,using the internet too much is a bad habit and nowadays it seems popular with everyone ranging from youngsters to old people. People of any age can get access to literally any information they want and this could prove to be dangerous, particularly if it gets into the hands of children. Furthermore, some believe that crops ripened with the help of technology contain less vitamins. This could have a negative effect on the health of the population.

      Focusing on the opposing view,it should be accepted that technology can solve environmental problems. It makes life really easy for farmers by allowing them to live a reliable life by using technology to plant trees and other crops. Some of them need the help of the internet to solve their problems with crops and also use advanced techniques to ripen new types of crops. Moreover, electronic gadgets are very useful to allow farmers to stay connected with each other. The mobile phone, for example has revolutionized the way people communicate with one another.

      Out of the two sets of the opinions, I prefer the latter. I favour that technology can make everything possible. We can keep an eye on what’s going on in the world and it keeps us updated in this fast moving technological era. By using GPS technology we can get the exact position that where we are in now. Furthermore, computers are extremely useful. Everyone from students to businessmen can carry all the documentation they require. All the information can be put into small pen drives and other needed data is freely available on the internet. So it helps to carry less of a burden. Moreover, technology helps to grow any type of crop in any season.

      Thus in light of the above discussion it can be commented that, in today’s technological era its not wrong to say that in future we can grow better types of crops and new ripening techniques which will be available and useful for mankind and for the environment too.

  32. Aakash says:

    Dear Admin please tell me about this essay. I try to change the way of paragraphing and still there is correction then I’ll try to make it perfect.

    Topic: University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think university should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

    The issue of additional subjects or focus on one specialist subject in university has been in constant debate. I entirely agree
    with the argument. My inclination is further explained with reasons and examples.

    First of all, there are some important reasons that can be put forward is to focus on one specialist subject, it is the most protective decision to study because, it gives choice to students what they want to learn. Moreover, study with one subject has benefit like more concentration and deep knowledge without getting bore. There is one more advantage to learn with selective subject that gives more time to work after study. Also less burden for study as well as for exams too.

    Secondly, the most important is, chosen subject is better for future use because, it will give more scopes for good class of job and that makes them a better one in future to get a better job. So all of this is because of they have more time for future planning.

    However, there are few aspects that can never be ignored in favour of to study supplementary subject instead of to learn with student’s their own subjects. It must be admitted that there will be not more knowledge until students are studying extra subjects. Study with more subjects that also gives you a more possibility for jobs in future. It is indeed true that more knowledge goes nowhere but it will be use somewhere in the future.

    Thus, in the light of above discussion it can be commented that, it’s all depends on the creature mind what they decides for them, I think study with the picky subject that is more valuable than learn with further subjects.

    • admin says:

      Dear Aakash

      This is another good essay and you have used good linkers. The structure is better but there are still a few mistakes. Please see the corrected version below:

      The issue of additional subjects or focus on one specialist subject in university has been in constant debate. I entirely agree
      with the argument. My inclination is further explained with reasons and examples.

      First of all, there are some important reasons that can be put forward. It is believed that it is better to concentrate on only one specialist subject because it gives a choice to students about what they want to learn. Moreover, studying one subject has benefits such as allowing more concentration and a deeper knowledge without getting bored. There is one more advantage to learning a chosen subject which is that it gives more time to work after studying. Also there is less of a burden to study as well as the implication of having to do exams too. Secondly, the most important reason is that a chosen subject is better for future use because it will give more scope for a better class of job in the future. So, all of this could happen because a student would have more time for future planning.

      However, there are few aspects that can never be ignored in favour of studying a supplementary subject. It must be admitted that students will gain extra knowledge if they study additional subjects. Studying more subjects also gives an individual more possibilities for jobs in the future. It is indeed true that more knowledge could be used somewhere in the future.

      Thus, in light the of above discussion it can be commented that, it all depends on the mind of the individual with regard to what they decide to do. I think studying a chosen subject is more valuable than learning further subjects.

      • Aakash says:

        Thanks admin
        But do I know how much band I can get for this essay??

        • admin says:

          Dear Aakash. You would get a band score of around 5 for this essay. The structure is good but there are numerous grammatical mistakes and the lexis is sometimes inappropriate. You need to look carefully at my corrected version.

          Best regards

          Admin team

  33. Norah Ahmed says:

    Hello,
    Thank you for being cooperative and helping. I have a couple of questions and will be happy if you answered them.

    1. What’s the best way of brainstorming before writing? This has always been my problem. I spend more time in thinking about what to write than the actual writing.

    2. I’m always confused about what to write in each paragraph. I’d really appreciate it if you could point out what information should be written in the three paragraph essay and the four paragraph essay.

    Writing has always been my weakest point, but I’m trying my best to improve and hopefully I will.

    Thank you again.

    • admin says:

      Dear Norah

      You have the same problem that many candidates are faced with. Please check out the link below for advice. I have been using this site for a long time and it has some very useful tips on the subject of brainstorming. I would never write a 3 paragraph essay because in any essay you need a paragraph for the introduction, 2 main body paragraphs to talk about advantages and disadvantages or how far you agree or disagree and a paragraph for the conclusion. You should should therefore write a minimum of 4 paragraphs. Hope this helps.

      Admin team

      http://www.ieltsbuddy.com/support-files/ielts-task-2-Brainstorming-and-Planning.pdf

  34. ngan giang says:

    dear admin, i would certainly be glad if you may answer this question for me, because i’m so confused whether i should use it or not. this seemingly long phrase is cited from a really formal work:
    a one-size-fits-all command-and-control solution to curtail global carbon emissions.

    • admin says:

      Hi Ngan,
      This phrase looks grammatically good and it is not too informal. But it obviously depends on the context you are using it in. I am not entirely clear what your question is, could you clarify?
      Thanks,
      admin

  35. sai says:

    mmigrants should not try to set up their own minority communities as it will lead to conflict between different groups society.
    Immigrants should study and adopt the local culture of their new country.

    Do you agree with this statement?
    Discuss both views?
    can anyone pls tell the answer ?

  36. CHIRU says:

    Could you please provide feedback on the below writing essay?

    WRITING TASK 1
    You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
    A friend has agreed to look after your
    house and pet while you are on holiday.
    Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
    • give contact details for when you are away
    • give instructions about how to care for your pet
    • describe other household duties

    Dear Ravi,

    Thanks for agreeing to take care of my house and pet during my upcoming vacation.

    I will handover the keys and pet the same day I leave for vacation. I also prepared a check list that would help you on what needs to be done in the house and the pet’s diet schedule.
    The pet likes a early walk and then a bath. The milk boy leaves the milk packets at front door at 7 AM, so warm the milk for 5 min and feed the pet.

    The pet’s food is available in the shelf and follow the check list for diet schedule. Also when you get sometime in the evening, please water the plants in the garden. The water tap is there to side of the back door. There is plenty of food available in the shelf, feel free to prepare something you like. Its better to close the windows in the night time to protect from mosquito bytes.

    If you need any help, you can reach me on my mobile 123456.

    Your truely,
    xxxxx

    • admin says:

      Dear Chiru

      You answered all the prompts in the question and you have used an appropriate informal style. Your letter is very clear and easy to read. You have made a few errors with prepositions and ‘sometime’ should be separated in this case. The vocabulary is rather basic and you could have used a wider range of grammatical structures so you would probably achieve a band score somewhere between 5 and 5.5. Overall, a good effort.

      You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
      A friend has agreed to look after your
      house and pet while you are on holiday.
      Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
      • give contact details for when you are away
      • give instructions about how to care for your pet
      • describe other household duties

      Dear Ravi,

      Thanks for agreeing to take care of my house and pet during my upcoming vacation.

      I will handover the keys and pet the same day I leave for vacation. I also prepared a check list that would help you on what needs to be done in the house and the pet’s diet schedule. The pet likes an early walk and then a bath. The milk boy leaves the milk packets at the front door at 7 AM, so warm the milk for five minutes and feed the pet.

      The pet food is located on the shelf and you can follow the check list for the diet schedule. Also when you get some time in the evening, please water the plants in the garden. The water tap is at the side of the back door. There is plenty of food available on the shelf so feel free to prepare something you like. Its better to close the windows at night time in order to protect yourself from mosquito bites.

      If you need any help, you can reach me on my mobile 123456.

      Your truly,
      xxxxx

  37. vonguyenan says:

    hi admin, may i ask u some comments on my writing, hopefully, i can realize my mistakes, thanks so much.

    Essay 2: the children who can grow up in a family short of money are more capable of dealing with problems in adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    In the context of modern-day life, the potential impact of family’s socioeconomic status on children’s well-being becomes an element that has hardly failed to attract attention, breed ground for spirited debate and spark controversy. As a matter of fact, some commentators adopt a view that impoverished children are more lilely to have ability to address prospect challenges or difficulties than those who come from more affluent families. Whilst there are certainly solid arguments to the contrary, as for my position, I am at odds with such ungrounded perception and under many circumstance, children living with high-income parents are in far more advantegous position in this respect. The two deep-rooted causes of this as follows.

    First of all, in regard to the professional aspect, it is indisputable that, affluent children can have access to a variety of educational opportunities that facilitating them with knowledge and crucial skills. It is no exaggeration to say that, for salient example, many parents have willingness to facilitate them to join solf-skill courses or training classes from childhood, to enroll international educational institutes having prominent professionals, competent teachers with qualified teaching approaches; all of which can serve as the catalyst for them to nurture essential skills, and hands-on experience and possibly consolidate positive outlook on life. They there by, in the years to come, will have advantages to deal with obstacles by their own competences, optimism, knowledge and a myriad of beneficial skills. Overlooking the magnitude of material wealth in pursuit of laying groundwork for children to deal effectively with problems in the future can thus be a grave mistake.

    Further and even more importantly, for a more pragmatic perspective, the second merit is boosting social skills amongst children of financially comfortable family. Despite the fact that indigent children must to work from an early age in order to diminish their parents’ financial burdens, thereby being more mature to face imminent problems than their pals of same age, I would argue that only affluent children, though by no means all of them, can obtain opportunities to attend social functions life balls, banquets. Consequently, it is can be seen as the driving force for them to enhance their social skills, strengthen their social networks; having these achievements support them in good form coping with complex issues in society. It is of great value and plays an absolutely pivotal in their social life as soon as these fortunate children could capitalize on it.

    By the way of conclusion, with the light of above-mentioned arguments, I once again reaffirm my firm belief that with better living conditions, children from upper or middle class families are more likeky to be at advantage in problem-solving in many cases.

    • admin says:

      You have written another wonderful, impressive essay. The structure and ideas are excellent. You have made a few minor mistakes which I have corrected in the re-written version. I hope this helps. You are definitely looking at a band score between 8 and 8.5.

      Best of luck

      The admin team

      Essay 2: the children who can grow up in a family short of money are more capable of dealing with problems in adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

      In the context of modern-day life, the potential impact of a family’s socioeconomic status on children’s well-being has become an element that has hardly failed to attract attention. It has become a breeding ground for spirited debate and has sparked controversy. As a matter of fact, some commentators adopt a view that impoverished children are more likely to have the ability to address challenges or difficulties than those who come from more affluent families. Whilst there are certainly solid arguments to the contrary, as for my position, I am at odds with such an ungrounded perception and under many circumstances, children living with high-income parents are in a far more advantageous position in this respect. The two deep-rooted causes of this are as follows.

      First of all, in regard to the professional aspect, it is indisputable that, affluent children can have access to a variety of educational opportunities that facilitate them with knowledge and crucial skills. It is no exaggeration to say that, as a salient example, many parents have the willingness to facilitate them to join soft-skill courses or training classes from childhood, to enroll in international educational institutes having prominent professionals, competent teachers with qualified teaching approaches; all of which can serve as the catalyst for them to nurture essential skills, hands-on experience and possibly consolidate a positive outlook on life. They thereby, in the years to come, will have advantages to deal with obstacles by their own competences, optimism, knowledge and a myriad of beneficial skills. Overlooking the magnitude of material wealth in pursuit of laying the groundwork for children to deal effectively with problems in the future can thus be a grave mistake.

      Further and even more importantly, for a more pragmatic perspective, the second merit is boosting social skills among children from a financially comfortable family. Despite the fact that indigent children must work from an early age in order to diminish their parents’ financial burdens, thereby being more mature to face imminent problems than their pals of the same age, I would argue that only affluent children, though by no means all of them, can obtain opportunities to attend social functions such as life balls or banquets. Consequently, it can be seen as the driving force for them to enhance their social skills, strengthen their social networks; having these achievements supports them in good form coping with complex issues in society. It is of great value and plays an absolutely pivotal role in their social life as soon as these fortunate children can capitalize on it.

      By the way of conclusion, with the light of the above-mentioned arguments, I once again reaffirm my belief that with better living conditions, children from upper or middle class families are more likely to be at an advantage in problem-solving in many cases.

  38. vonguyenan says:

    i try my best in nearly 50 mins to complete this essay. so again i hope that i can identify exactly my mistakes by your support. thanks for your help so much

    Essay 1: it is not uncommon that children are required to obey the rules of their parents and teachers. Some people are worried that too much control over children will not prepare them well for their adult life. Discuss both view and give your opinions.

    In the context of modern-day life, children’s educative approaches become a crucial element that has hardly failed to attract attention, breed ground for spirited debate and spark controversy. As a matter of fact, some commentators adopt a view that it is of great value to uphold the wide-spread method of educating children by imposing rules and regulations either at home or at schools, whilst many people object to it on the ground that it can interfere with children’s individual development, to the detriment of their adult life. In this essay, I intend to dig deeper into both fairly opposite standpoints, and for my position, I side with the latter perception due to some of destructive impact associated with this trend.

    First of all, it is indisputable that setting many rules can be attributed as the culprit for children’s long-lasting fears and negative outlook on life. It is no exaggeration to say that children live and study under the strict regulations are likely to have the panic of disciplines from their parents and teachers that they have confronted with, in worse cases, they can be physically punished, causing remediless harm to their minds and souls. Anecdotal evidence show that many children nowadays are prone to show symptoms of a myriad of psychological disorders, such as emotional disturbances, chronic oppression, boredom, autism and depression, to mention but a few. Consequently, in the years to come, these negative impact on children’s development has a huge cost in terms of their personality, social lives and social relations, to mention but a few. Overlooking these threat derived from excessive rules with discipline on children’s performance can thus be a grave mistake.

    On the other hand, maybe the strongest argument in favour of imposing rules based on the premise that it is the prerequisite for directing children to adhere to proper demeanours, to be productive citizens for society. For example, if strict parents enforce rules that force their children not to join gangs and communicate with improper pals, it is likely that children’s compliance would make them, for instance, away from the risks of dropping out of school or playing truant. Many parents argue that due to the efficiency of daily regulations, it possibly make children to be accountable for their actions, raising awareness of social conventions, customs and believes; nevertheless, I would contend that applying to many rules can hinder their courage, creativeness to accomplish their goals and objectives, they subsequently no longer have courage to bring about new ideas to teachers, expressing their deep-rooted dreams to family, thereby missing out on opportunities to challenge themselves, summon up their strength, practicing attainable skills, which can be of paramount importance to their later life and career ladder as well.

    By the way of conclusion with the light of above-mentioned arguments, I once again reaffirm my firm belief that rules can depress children’s performance, making them more vulnerable to illness and disabling them to attain what they can achieve. Rules’s appropriateness should go with certain phase of their development. It hence demands out further consideration from parents and educators.

    • admin says:

      This is an excellent essay. It is coherent, it answers the question in its entirety and the lexis you have used is superb. You have also used a wide range of grammatical structures. There are a few mistakes involving lexis and grammar which I have corrected below but overall you are looking at a very high band score of around 8. Well done!!

      The admin team

      In the context of modern-day life, the approaches used to educate children have become a crucial element that have hardly failed to attract attention. This subject has become a breeding ground for spirited debate and has sparked considerable controversy. As a matter of fact, some commentators adopt a view that it is of great value to uphold the wide-spread method of educating children by imposing rules and regulations either at home or at schools, whilst many people object to it on the grounds that it can interfere with children’s individual development, to the detriment of their adult life. In this essay, I intend to dig deeper into two fairly opposite standpoints, and for my position, I side with the latter perception due to some of destructive impact associated with this trend.

      First of all, it is indisputable that setting many rules can be attributed as the culprit for children’s long-lasting fears and negative outlook on life. It is no exaggeration to say that children live and study under strict regulations and are likely to have the panic of discipline from their parents and teachers that they have become confronted with, in worse cases, they can be physically punished, causing severe harm to their minds and souls. Anecdotal evidence shows that many children nowadays are prone to show symptoms of a myriad of psychological disorders, such as emotional disturbances, chronic oppression, boredom, autism and depression, to mention but a few. Consequently, in the years to come, this negative impact on children’s development has a huge cost in terms of their personality, social lives and social relations, to mention but a few. Overlooking these threats derived from excessive rules with discipline on children’s performance can thus be a grave mistake.

      On the other hand, maybe the strongest argument in favour of imposing rules is based on the premise that it is the prerequisite for directing children to adhere to having a proper demeanor, to be productive citizens for society. For example, if strict parents enforce rules that force their children not to join gangs and communicate with improper pals, it is likely that children’s compliance would make them, for instance, steer clear from the risks of dropping out of school or playing truant. Many parents argue that due to the efficiency of daily regulations, it possibly makes children become accountable for their actions, raising awareness of social conventions, customs and beliefs; nevertheless, I would contend that applying too many rules can hinder their courage, creativeness to accomplish their goals and objectives, they subsequently no longer have courage to bring about new ideas to teachers, expressing their deep-rooted dreams to family, thereby missing out on opportunities to challenge themselves, summon up their strength, practicing attainable skills, which can be of paramount importance to their later life and career ladder as well.

      By the way of conclusion with the light of the above-mentioned arguments, I once again reaffirm my firm belief that rules can depress children’s performance, making them more vulnerable to illness and prevent them from attaining what they can achieve. The appropriateness of rules should go with a certain phase of their development. It hence demands further consideration from parents and educators.

  39. vonguyenan says:

    one more essay i need your support, may i ^^ i really need some useful comments because nextweek i will do my real examination :( (

    Some people think that scientists experimenting with animals in a laboratory is the only way we can guarantee new products will be safe for human use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
    In the context of modern-day life, animal experiment is a troubling issue that has hardly failed to attract attention. It has been a breeding ground for spirited debate and has sparked controversy. Some commentators adop a view that it is of paramount importance to develop animal testing in laboratories as only effective approach in pursuit of highest safety standards for products launching for people’s purposes. Whilst there are certainly solid arguments to the contrary, I am quite side with this notion due to two deep-rooted causes as follows.
    First of all, it is indisputable that experiments on animals like mammals assume an inevitable role in the path of sustaining public health. It is no exaggeration to say that, in principle, laboratory animals scientifically bear a close resemblance to humans, either in behaviour or in cell structure, as a way to explicate their reactions, nearly in the same manner as humans do, to the influence of external disturbances like electrical shock. Consequently, it is strongly argued that a myriad of findings derived from animal-based experiments according to health-related illnesses, insidious diseases, chronic disorders in humankind has been facilitating researchers, professionals and specialists to discover successful treatments curing thousands of patients. It aims to cure people’s pains, as well as alleviate potential sufferings by indentifying severe and life-damaging symptoms as animal reacts. Overlooking the magnitude of animal testing in this respect can thus be a grave mistake.
    For a more pragmatic standpoint, one further justification that should not be ignored here is its massive contributions to a number of emerging industries. A particularly salient example is comestic industry- many products are being introduced successfully to consumers; obviously, these evidence-based experiments on animals’ body are of great value for the development of qualified products, importantly, steering clear of destructive impact on the customers. Despite some critics objecting to this mean on the grounds that this approach can be considered as anti-social behaviours that interferes with animal rights as causing pains, or in worse cases, exploiting them for immoral purposes, I would argue that most animal-based experiments inlaboratories conducted by researchers, who are empowered to carry out, are crucial and necessary to customers’ health.
    By the way of conclusion with the light of above-mentioned argument, I once again reaffirm my firm believe that animal testing is of paramount importance as a leading approach in medical industry or other important ones, although sufferings laboratory animals confront with should be placed under control with stricter standards to the minimum.

    • admin says:

      This essay below has been amended. It is very well written and again the lexis used is top notch. You have made some mistakes such as omitting the definite article and using the wrong collocations, but overall it is excellent. Overall this is excellent. Good luck in your IELTS test and please let us know how you got on.

      The admin team

      In the context of modern-day life, experimenting on animals is a troubling issue that has hardly failed to attract attention. It has been a breeding ground for spirited debate and has sparked controversy. Some commentators adopt a view that it is of paramount importance to develop animal testing in laboratories as the only effective approach in pursuit of the highest safety standards for launching products for people’s purposes. Whilst there are certainly solid arguments to the contrary, I side with this notion due to two deep-rooted causes which are as follows.
      First of all, it is indisputable that experiments on animals like mammals assume an inevitable role in the path of sustaining public health. It is no exaggeration to say that, in principle, laboratory animals scientifically bear a close resemblance to humans, either in behaviour or in cell structure, as a way to explicate their reactions, nearly in the same manner as humans do, to the influence of external disturbances like electrical shocks. Consequently, it is strongly argued that a myriad of findings derived from animal-based experiments according to health-related illnesses, insidious diseases and chronic disorders in humankind has been facilitating researchers, professionals and specialists to discover successful treatments which can cure thousands of patients. It aims to cure people’s pains, as well as alleviate potential sufferings by identifying severe and life-damaging symptoms. Overlooking the magnitude of animal testing in this respect can thus be a grave mistake.
      For a more pragmatic standpoint, one further justification that should not be ignored here is its massive contributions to a number of emerging industries. A particularly salient example is the cosmetic industry- many products are being introduced successfully to consumers; obviously, these evidence-based experiments on animals’ bodies are of great value for the development of qualified products, importantly, steering clear of the destructive impact on the customers. Despite some critics objecting to this on the grounds that this approach can be considered as anti-social behaviour that interferes with animal rights and causes them a lot of pain, or in worse cases, exploits them for immoral purposes, I would argue that most animal-based experiments in laboratories conducted by researchers, who are empowered to carry them out, are crucial and necessary to customers’ health.
      By the way of conclusion with the light of the above-mentioned argument, I once again reaffirm my firm believe that animal testing is of paramount importance as a leading approach in the medical industry although the suffering laboratory animals are confronted should be reduced as much as possible.

  40. Minh Quan says:

    Hi admin. Thanks for your site. This page is very helpful for me :)
    May I ask you some comments on my writing task 1, hopefully, I can realize my mistakes, thanks so much.

    I dont know how to post an image on this site. So I decided upload my task 1 on my own site: https://skydrive.live.com/redir?resid=80C4D968F28A02EA!5286&authkey=!AEwCjLfnuvqmSPI

    • admin says:

      Hi Minh, unfortunately we cannot post comments on writings unless they are submitted on this site. You can take a look at our writing task 1s here and click on writing task 1. Or you can submit your essay again in whole on this site.
      Good luck

  41. Nandita Bhanu.Kavuluri says:

    Can you please leave comments on the writing task 2 for the following question:

    A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material
    possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem
    important.
    To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

    ANSWER:

    Yes, it is true that now a day’s people’s worth is based on their financial status. Nobody is able to identify that, the real status is honesty, trust, kindness and many more. Everything has turned into business now. We speak the language of money but not the word’s of kindness and truth in them.

    The relations have become fancy for that moment, after that no one cares about you. Even though if someone tries to live a respectful life, people around you are only concerned with the amount of money you got in your account. Earlier, in 60’s & 70’s people used to respect a scholar who is honest, trust worth and had all the good qualities ,but now people are behind a wealthy man. They don’t care about the qualities of a rich man but only care’s about money.

    I think this system should change; respect should be given to the person who is having considerable qualities apart from the financial status. Although the rich contribute more to the society, yet without the above qualities there is no use of spending money on society. In one way or the other he always try to find profit from it, which shows he is not honest towards his work. For example, Mother Teresa who is a foreigner still she helped the poor and unwanted people of India. She never expected money, awards, and respect from people. She just did her work with purity in her thoughts and heart. Although she isn’t rich, still people admire her and get inspired from her it’s just because of her honesty, divinity towards the work.

    Giving a Status to a person in a society shouldn’t always be based on his/her financial ability but also should consider on his behavioral attitudes. Societies not only need money, but also honesty, truth & kindness, through which a nation could develop in a rightful way.

    • admin says:

      Hi Nandita, it is clear you have put some real effort into the essay.
      You make some nice points. And you use some nice vocabulary. But, you need to be careful with TASK ACHIEVEMENT. You need to make sure it is clear what your answer is ‘to what extent do you agree or disagree’. Why do you start the essay with ‘yes’, given the essay question?
      I have corrected some grammatical mistakes below (I have not changed to improve your task achievement):

      Yes, it is true that nowadays people’s worth is based on their financial status. Nobody is able to identify that (not clear), the real status is honesty, trust, kindness and many more. Everything has turned into business now. We speak the language of money but not of the word’s kindness and truth in them (who?).

      The relations have become fancy for that moment, after that no one cares about you (???). Even though some people try to live a respectful life, people around them are only concerned with the amount of money they have got in their account. Earlier, in 60’s & 70’s people used to respect a scholar who is honest, trustworthy and had all the good qualities, but now people are behind a wealthy man. They don’t care about the qualities of a rich man but only care about money.

      I think (try to avoid first person) this system should change. Respect should be given to the person who has considerable qualities apart from financial status. Although the rich contribute more (taxes?) to society. However, without the above qualities there is no use of spending money on society. In one way or the other he (who?) always tries to find profit from it (what?), which shows he (who?) is not honest towards his work. For example, Mother Teresa who was a foreigner still helped the poor and unwanted people of India. She never expected money, awards, or respect from people. She just did her work with purity in her thoughts and heart. Although she wasn’t rich, people still admire her and get inspired from her and it’s just because of her honesty and divinity towards the work.

      Giving a Status to a person in a society shouldn’t always be based on his/her financial ability but also should consider on his behavioral attitudes. Societies not only need money, but also honesty, truth & kindness, through which a nation could develop in a rightful way.

      I hope this helps!
      Good luck!

  42. Nandita Bhanu.Kavuluri says:

    thank you so much for responding, am so glad that you corrected and send a good version, by the way you didn’t mention how much did i scored?

    • admin says:

      Your essay would be around 5.5-6.

      • Nandita Bhanu.Kavuluri says:

        Thank you so much . Am practicing writing tests, is there any mandatory that we shouldn’t upload so many written samples ?
        Coz i need to boost up my writing skills and i need some one to evaluate them and give suggestions . So will u mind if i post essays? plz do reply

  43. Minh Quan says:

    Dear admin, could you leave for some advice on my writing task 2. How many points do I achieve? Thanks ^_^

    QUESTION:
    Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on community.
    To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

    ANSWER:

    As we can see that the society nowaday alters quickly and people have to deal with several problems in their life. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of living outside alone or with their friends rather than with their family has been positive or negative. Personally, I believe that the benefits of living individually far outweigh the drawback. These benefits are twofold.

    First of all, it is an undeniable that people who live individual can control their life perfectly. Despite the risk of economic crisis – an issue that people does not have enough money in order to cover fo a normal day – most of them know how to solve this problem such as saving the money, sharing the necessities to others. People, additionally, become more and more independent and confident – especially for adults who are growing up in order to prepare for a new life. Therefore, people have more responsible for their life in particular and for the society in general.
    Equally important, though, this trend has contributing an enormous for society. One particularly instance of this is that the Japanese children have early individual. After that, these next generation will be the forces that help increase the GDP of the nation. Admittedly, not all of the friends who live with them are the good guys or there exist several temptation outside the world like drugs, prostitute or gamble. Nonetheless, I would contend that living alone or with friends has generally been a very positive trend.

    By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the trend of living separately has a positve impart on modern life. I believe that this issue is likely to become even more important in the future because of our knowledge and personal views.

  44. Nandita Bhanu.Kavuluri says:

    please leave suggestions and band for the following essay.

    In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning And taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?
    You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with Examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

    ANSWER:
    We are in 21st century where everybody is meant to work and earn by themselves.Everyone is busy with their own works .It’s a busy world that lives in its own boundary.One should take care of themselves.

    Yes, it is good to engage children in some kind of paid work. Apart from their regular schedule, like Academics, sports etc; this kind of work is useful to them. They feel more excited while working in an environment where they don’t really have much idea. It creates an amazing experience for them. Sitting at home, playing video games and texting through phones sometimes may lead to adverse effects. They simply waste their precious time on junks. They cannot develop communication skills, work culture. Development of cognitive thinking will fail sometimes.

    Working for paid creates a different environment for kids. It teaches how to behave with others (who are absolutely unknown), punctuality, behavior, responsibilities and many more. They will definitely come to know the value of the money, because you are paid for the work you have done. So obviously they start working. And more over self funding is also important for the kids to meet their expensive’s. Families who cannot support their kids for higher education, this kind of paid work will definitely help.
    There is a saying that, when someone starts earning he will value the money. Especially children must know the value of it.

    While coming to the disadvantages of earning during very young age is not really advisable. According to the UNICEF children below the age of 15 are not supposed to do any labor work. Generally young minds do not have that much of capability to earn by themselves. Sometimes it may lead to un-expectable scenarios like cyber theft, smuggling, etc when parents aren’t aware of what their kids are actually doing. It is very important that parents must have complete knowledge of what their kids are doing, where they are working? What kind of work it is? These questions might seem to be simple but yet they cost more when there is no proper answer. So parents must be aware of certain things.

    So, creating work culture to children is very important for their mental and physical growth but at the same time protection of kids from evil activities is also necessary. Parents must always guide them and be with them so that they go ahead in a right direction which is responsible for building their own character.

  45. Nadia says:

    Hi there ,
    I would like to post my writing to assess it for me . I hope you could score it as well .

    Some people say that after finshing their education ; adults can increase knowledge throuh
    continus reading .Those who disagree say there are other ways to increase knowledge .Discuss these methods and give your opinion .

    Noone would argue about the crucial importance of knowledge in our lives . Actually , our necessity for knowledgae does not suspend after postgraduation . The notion of knowledge’s acquistion differentiates from one person to an other . With the current world changes , miscellanous methods have emerged through which knowlege could be aquired . In this essay , I am going to tackle the most prominent mediums preferred by the vast majority of people : the reading method and the communication one .

    To start with , knowledge has no limits as they say . Some people view that the optimum way to increase one’s knowledge is by constant reading .They think that the more we read the more knoweldgeable we become in various realms. It is true that reading books can maintain us with all information we necessitate to broaden our thinking and culture . However , they are not adequate to build a real outlook of what we read because the readable materials we get are abstract .

    Consequenlty , the convenient way to foster this method is by the concrete knowledge represented by interactive communication . I am going to mention the example of travelling to enhance my point of view . We all know that travelling has an enormous role in nourshing our cultural and knowledgeable aspects . When we visit different countries and we attain a direct and a close communication with local people from differnt backgrounds and cultures, we could concretely comprehend the comprehensive cultural entities of such nations . This would no doubt contribute to our building of knowledge based on realistic resources .

    In conclusion , acquiring knowledge relying on the abstract and the concrete mediums are considerably advantageous , for the combination of both methods would admittedly contribute to the creation of a balanced character within the knowledge’s searcher .

    • admin says:

      This is a high level essay. You have obviously tried to use a range of vocabulary.
      But there are a number of spelling mistakes and incorrect use of some of the words, which would effect marks for your coherence, grammar and lexical resource.
      Some of the words used make your point unclear, which effects coherence and task response.
      I would suggest making sure your ideas are easy to follow and spending less time on your introduction.
      For these reasons you would probably receive around a 6.5

      I have highlighted some of (not all!) your mistakes below.

      Noone would argue about the crucial importance of knowledge in our lives . Actually , our necessity for knowledgae does not suspend after postgraduation . The notion of knowledge’s (wrong word order – the notion of acquiring knowledge) acquistion differentiates from one person to an other . With the current world changes , miscellanous methods have emerged through which knowlege could be aquired . In this essay , I am going to tackle the most prominent mediums preferred by the vast majority of people : the reading method and the communication one (?) .
      To start with , knowledge has no limits (as they say – not appropriate) . Some people view that the optimum way to increase one’s knowledge is by constant reading .They think that the more we read the more knoweldgeable we become in various realms. It is true that reading books can maintain us with all information we necessitate (wrong word) to broaden our thinking and culture . However , they are not adequate to build a real outlook of what we read because the readable materials we get are abstract .
      Consequenlty , the convenient way to foster this method is by the concrete knowledge represented by interactive communication . I am going to mention the example of travelling to enhance my point of view . We all know that travelling has an enormous role in nourshing our cultural and knowledgeable aspects . When we visit different countries and we attain a direct and a close communication with local people from differnt backgrounds and cultures, we could concretely comprehend the comprehensive cultural entities of such nations . This would no doubt contribute to our building of knowledge based on realistic resources .
      In conclusion , acquiring knowledge relying on the abstract and the concrete mediums are considerably advantageous (it is unclear what you mean here) , for the combination of both methods would admittedly contribute to the creation of a balanced character within the knowledge’s searcher (again, unclear) .

      I hope this helps!
      Please share this site with your friends.

      • admin says:

        Apologies, I underlined the incorrect spellings, this has not shown. Please copy and paste your essay into a Microsoft word document and the spell checker will show your spelling errors.

  46. Nadia says:

    Hi there Admin ,
    I am really grateful for your assessment . I am going to work on the ideas to make them coherent.
    Thank you so much

  47. Nadia says:

    Hi admin,
    I am enclosing an other essay for assessment . I am extremely grateful for the constrcuctive assistance you offer for the perspective IELTS candidates to better their writing skills .
    Task 2 :
    Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children .Many children suffer because they do not get as much attetion from their parents .
    · Do you agree or disagree ?
    · You should spend about 40 minutes on thsi task .
    · The answer :

    It is true that modern lifestyles have massively affected the relationship of parents with their children . Due to the long hours parents spend at work , children considerably suffer from the scarcity of attetention from their parents.To foster my entire disagreement with the topic , I am going to tackle t the subject from the social and psychological perspectives.

    Socially , the parents’ constant preoccupation with the modern prosperity motivated the vast majority of them to loans .As a result , they engaged into additional work in order to cover the infants’ necessities and to pay back the bank’s debts . Thus , parents are mostly back home late .When they need to have some time and space with the their kids , they find them asleep. As a consequence , the relationship between parents and infants becomes frozen which would undoutedly affect the children’s psychlogical side .

    Psycholigically , the scarce care that children get from their parents is considered the essential factor behind the prevalence of dramatic psychlogical illnesses among children such as autism , phobia and lack of self-confidence . All these harmful illnesses would nodoubt contribute to the deterioration of the infants’ learning ability . Therefore , before getting into such serious results , immediate measures should be taken to rescue our kids from such aftermaths.

    In conclustion , our children are our future investment .The goverment alongside with mass media cooperate to produce and introduce programmes in which they raise awareness among parents with the risks of indequate time they spend with their kids. This sensitization would certainly contribute to the building of a well-ballanced generation that would be productive and creative

    • admin says:

      Dear Nadia

      You have addressed the essay using a thesis-led approach and while we are very impressed with your answer you state you disagree with the topic. However your whole argument seems to agree with the fact that children suffer because they don’t get enough attention from their parents. Be really careful here!! On the positive side, the paragraphing is appropriate with a clear purpose and central topic to each paragraph. The essay is also well-structured with a good variety of cohesive devices. We are particularly impressed by your use of lexis and you have used some excellent collocations in this essay which demonstrate your excellent grasp of the English language. You have made a few mistakes which need to be addressed. In the first sentence you need to change ‘of……with…’ to ‘between…………and’ in the in the second sentence you made a mistake with the word order. You need to change ‘considerably suffer’ to ‘suffer considerably’. You can omit the definite article ‘the’ when you mention ‘modern prosperity’. You need to use the phrase ‘take out a loan’. The collocation ‘engaged into’ should be changed to ‘engage in’ and you must use present simple in this case because you are talking about something that happens in general. You also need to change ‘parents are mostly back home late’ to ‘parents mostly come back home late’. We don’t talk about a frozen relationship. You could mention that ‘the relationship between parents and infants deteriorates…..’

      ‘Psycholiigically’ should be spelled ‘Psychologically’. Don’t use lexis such as ‘kids’ in this essay. You are writing an academic essay and that is too informal. You should use the word ‘çhildren’ instead or ‘offspring’ to avoid repetition. You need to change the second to last sentence to ‘The government alongside the mass media should cooperate to produce and introduce programmes in which they raise awareness among parents about the risks of the inadequate time they spend with their children’.

      Overall, this is a good essay which would get around a band 7. Be really careful when you say you agree or disagree with the topic. We hope this advice is useful for you.

      Best regards

      The admin team

    • admin says:

      Dear Nadia

      Thank you for your kind comments. This another good essay but you should have separated the paragraphs a bit more clearly. In the first paragraph you need to change ‘the paramount target’to ‘the main target’. You can omit the definite article ‘the’ in ‘the learning methods’. Writing ‘advantageous and disadvantageous dimensions’ is an incorrect lexical chunk. You could write that distance learning has ‘advantages and disadvantages’. You can omit the word ‘learning’ in ‘learning via distance…..’ since it is unnecessary. You need to change ‘brilliant students do well in such learning method’ to ‘brilliant students do well using such learning methods’. ‘Controle’ should be spelled ‘Control’. You can omit the indefinite article ‘an’ in the sentence beginning ‘this learning mode..’. The word ‘Psychlogically’ should be spelled ‘Psychologically’. When you write your conclusion you need to put a definite article in the phrase ‘distance learning method’.

      Again, you have planned this essay very carefully, you have used a wide lexical resource and you have used some good grammatical structures. You have also included a lot of supporting detail which is excellent. The paragraph that mentions the disadvantages of distance learning is somewhat shorter than the one about the advantages so you need to flesh it out a bit. You would probably get a band score of around 6.5 to 7 for this essay. Keep up the good work and think about your mistakes.

      The admin team

  48. Nadia says:

    Hi admin ,
    Thank you so much for your correction and your advices . I am going to pay attention to the mistakes you have focused on .

  49. Nadia says:

    Dear admin ,
    I am enclosing once again an other essay for assessment . I would like to seize this opportunity to express my warm gratitude for the efforts you do in order to assist Ielts candidates to improve their writing skills .
    Task 2 :
    More and more colleges and universities are offering courses via distance learning . Distance learning has many benefits , but there are also drawbacks , and not every learner will suit to this mode of study .
    What are the advantages and disadvantages of distance learning course ?
    The answer :
    Achieving high quality learning is considered the paramount target of most students. With the constant changes in the learning methods and with the advent of the internet services, what is so-called distance learning has emerged. Actually, distance learning has advantageous and disadvantageous dimensions. To illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of this type of learning, I am going to tackle the topic from the academic and psychological perspectives.
    Academically, learning via distance learning is extremely beneficial for two categories of students: the smart and the introverted ones. Due to their high learning capacities, brilliant students do well in such learning method, for they have adequate individual space and time to learn more in a short time. As a result, students are the ones who controle the learning materials rather than the tutors because their quick comprehension abilities motivate the tutors to deal with miscellaneous curricula in a limited time
    Furthermore, introverted students feel extremely satisfied in distance learning courses because they have their own surrounding where they can express their ideas without any restrictions. In fact , the lack of body language within the distance learning method makes it lose its effectiveness . Moreover, this learning mode has an alarming psychological effects on the learners .
    Psychlogically, distance learning is virtually managed which indicates that the interaction is merely between the tutor and the learner . This is really a risky method because the student feels that he /she learns in a utopic world in which there is no place for myriad opinions. As a consequence , various psychological maladies emerge among learners such as arrogance and lack of integration with other people holding different points of views .
    In conclusion , though distance learning method implicitly seems of utmost utilty ,it still implicitly hides harmful drawbacks . Thus , we should have preliminary information about the appropriate learning method that attains an equilibrium between the academic and psychological aspects four our students .

  50. Nadia says:

    Thank you so much admin for the instructions you recommended . I am going to work hard on them in order to better my writing skills.

  51. Nadia says:

    Dear admin ,
    I am enclosing an other essay for assessment .Thank you for your time and your correction .
    Task 2 :
    Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key for traffic accidents , others , however , believe that other measures would be more affective in improving road safety.
    Discuss bothviews and give your own opinion .
    Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
    The answer:
    It is obvisously noticeable the increase of traffic accidents in recent years . Some governments attempt to exert strict punishments on driving violations as convenient solutions for reducing traffic accidents . Although some people advocate governments’ measures , other people support other effective ways to reduce driving offences . In this essay , I am going to shed light on both views, meanwhile , I am going to enclose my point of view .
    On the one hand , proponents of strict punishments , I am one of them , support the notion of imprisoning drivers and depriving them from their driving licenses for a certain time respectively ,those causing grave driving violations leading to casualities and disabilities .Moreover, strict punishments should be exerted on drivers who are caught driving under alcoholic effects . Advocates of strict punishments for driving offences believe that these serious measures would undoubtedly deter drivers from committing more traffic accidents .Simultaneously, these measures would sensitize drivers to take into consideration that there are other drivers and pedestrians in the road . As a consequence , such measures would certainly contribute to the reduction of driving offences and traffic accidents .
    On the other hand , opponents of strict punishments support other effective keys that are indispensable to reduce traffic accidents such as : putting drivers causing both serious and simple driving violations under psychological tests to check the reasons that motivated them to cause such driving errors. They view if the driving offences are mainly resulted from unexpected psychological problems like depression and phobia , drivers should be put under psychological treatments .Furthermore, they should be given additional physical and mental trainings on how to control themselves while driving. Opponents of strict punishments for driving offences think that these effective solutions could raise awareness among drivers of the importance of driving carefully .This would certainly contribute to less driving violations and more road safety .
    In conclusion , driving is a great responsibility .Hence , before getting into our vehicles , we should take into account that there are driving codes that must be respected and applied in order to save our lives and the lives of the others .

    • admin says:

      Hi Nadia,
      Sorry for the late reply.

      You would probably receive around a 7.5 for this essay. The essay is well organised and you have addressed the task well. However there are some problems with spelling and word choice. I have noted next to the essay below. The conclusion also needs to focus on addressing the question.

      It is (obvisously) (obvious) noticeable (these words don’t go together) the increase of traffic accidents in recent years . Some governments attempt to exert strict punishments on driving violations as convenient solutions for reducing traffic accidents . Although some people advocate governments’ measures , other people support other effective ways to reduce driving offences . In this essay , I am going to shed light on both views, meanwhile (wrong word – not appropriate) , I am going to enclose my point of view .
      On the one hand , proponents of strict punishments , I am one of them (such as myself {more appropriate} , support the notion of imprisoning drivers and depriving them from their driving licenses for a certain time respectively (wrong choice) ,those causing grave driving violations leading to (casualities) and disabilities .Moreover, strict punishments should be exerted on drivers who are caught driving under alcoholic effects . Advocates of strict punishments for driving offences believe that these serious measures would, undoubtedly, deter drivers from committing more traffic accidents .Simultaneously, these measures would sensitize drivers to take into consideration that there are other drivers and pedestrians in (on) the road . As a consequence , such measures would certainly contribute to the reduction of driving offences and traffic accidents .
      On the other hand , opponents of strict punishments support other effective keys (should be’ measures’) that are indispensable to reduce traffic accidents such as : putting drivers causing both serious and simple driving violations under psychological tests to check the reasons that motivated them to cause such driving errors. They view ‘that’ if the driving offences are mainly resulted from unexpected psychological problems like depression and (‘or’ not and) phobia , drivers should be put under psychological treatments .Furthermore, they should be given additional physical and mental trainings on how to control themselves while driving. Opponents of strict punishments for driving offences think that these effective solutions could raise awareness among drivers of the importance of driving carefully .This would certainly contribute to less driving violations and more road safety .
      In conclusion , driving is a great responsibility .Hence , before getting into our vehicles , we should take into account that there are driving codes that must be respected and applied in order to save our lives and the lives of the others .

  52. Hale says:

    Hi admin, can you please help me to check my essay and let me know which band can I get? Thank you very much!
    Topic: A lot of developing countries rely on tourism to boost their economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism to the local area?
    Answer:
    It is an indisputable fact that many developing countries depend on tourism for the growth of their economy. This situation has surely carried along with it both advantages and disadvantages to the local area and this essay aims to highlight both.
    A very common gain of these circumstances is the remarkable increase in job opportunities for local people which are created and brought by investors through their businesses activities like constructing resorts, hotels, restaurants etc. or selling goods, services to serve the demand of tourists, which always need to hire a large number of laborers in a wide range of positions. Moreover, when the important role of tourism in the economy rise leading to its development, local people can also create job opportunities by setting up businesses themselves. An example of this would be Singapore which is nowadays recognized for its low rate of unemployment with a high proportion of workforce participating in the tourism field. Also, I should not forget to mention that the development of tourism can effectively contribute to the preservation of historical places and local culture because the local people know for sure that only by maintaining the uniqueness of historical places and regional tradition can their region become more intriguing to the tourists.
    Of couse, the primary weakness of this suggestion is the adverse effect on the evironment, which is derived from the bad habits of tourist like throwing rabbish everywhere they can. Another threat worth preparing for is that attracting to many tourists to the local area can lead to the rise of crime and social issues because there may be some kinds of bad individuals coming to the tourism area and give adverse influence to people living here. For example, China is known as a developing country suffered from serious pollution problems which is the consequence of its fast rising pace in tourism field.
    In conclusion, I would be like to say that developing countries should consider both benefits and drawbacks of relying on tourism for boosting the economy while implementing this policy.

    • admin says:

      Hi Hale,

      This essay would probably receive around 6.5. First of all, I do not think the question is an appropriate IELTS writing task 2 question. Check out some of our free questions.
      Your essay was well structured. However there was some problems with style and word choice, see comments below.

      It is an indisputable fact that many developing countries depend on tourism for the growth of their economy. This situation has surely carried along with it both advantages and disadvantages to the local area and this essay aims to highlight both.
      A very common gain of these circumstances is the remarkable increase in job opportunities for local people which are created and brought by investors through their businesses activities like constructing resorts, hotels, restaurants (etc.) (style) or selling goods, services to serve the demand of tourists, which always need to hire a large number of laborers in a wide range of positions (This is a very long sentence you need to split it up). Moreover, when the important role of tourism in the economy rise leading to its development (not clear what you are saying here) , local people can also create job opportunities by setting up businesses themselves. An example of this would be Singapore which is nowadays (today) recognized for its low rate of unemployment with a high proportion of workforce participating in the tourism field. Also,( I should not forget to mention) (style) that the development of tourism can effectively contribute to the preservation of historical places and local culture because the local people know for sure that only by maintaining the uniqueness of historical places and regional tradition can their region become more intriguing to the tourists.
      Of couse, the primary weakness of this suggestion is the adverse effect on the environment (spelling), which is derived from the bad habits of tourist like throwing rabbish (spelling) everywhere they can. Another threat worth preparing for is that attracting to many tourists to the local area can lead to the rise of crime and social issues because there may be some kinds of bad individuals coming to the tourism area (and) (who will) give (bring) adverse influence(s) to people living here. For example, China is known as a developing country (that has) suffered from serious pollution problems (,) (which is) the consequence of its (fast rising pace in tourism field) (does not collocate- rising tourism field – ok).
      In conclusion, I would be like to say that developing countries should consider both benefits and drawbacks of relying on tourism for boosting the economy while implementing this policy.

      Please like our facebook page!

  53. Nadia says:

    Thanl you so much admin for your co-operation and your time . I am going to work hard on the mistakes you noted . I am doing to my best to get to sore 8,5 in writing .

  54. jo bibo says:

    A glance at the graph provided reveals the amount of products transportation by four methods in uk between the period of 28 years from 1974 to 2002
    It is evident from the information supplied that all modes of transport have increased while the rail showed a plateau in both 1974 and 2002 at approximately 40 million tones
    It is also note that the most popular mean of transport was road which accounted about 60 million tones in 1974 and this figure rose to approximately 100 million, followed by water route that went up by 20 million from 1974 to 2002.
    Conversely, the lowest one was pipeline . It has grow from 1 million in 1974 to 20 fold in 2002.
    Thus, it is reasonable to surmise that road was the most popular one in uk while the pipeline was the least one in uk

    this is a graph in combridge book 8 4th exam task1 please if you can tell me my score and how to improve it

    • admin says:

      First of all I cannot give a band score, as I cannot see the task. You can use one supplied on our writing page, so I can give you a score. But here’s some tips!
      You have an ok structure, you have used evidence which is good and you’ve tried to use some less common vocabulary, which is also a strength.
      You have some problems with word choice. I have made some comments on your essay below.
      You have used ‘one’ a number of times, it is unclear what ‘one’ refers to. You should make it clearer and think about different ways to reference.

      A glance at the graph provided reveals the amount of products transportation (transported) by four methods in uk (the UK), between the period of 28 years from 1974 to 2002
      It is evident from the information supplied that all modes of transport have increased while the rail showed a plateau in both 1974 and 2002 at approximately 40 million tones
      (It is also note)?? that the most popular mean(s) of transport was road (road is not a mode of transport) which accounted (for) about 60 million tones in 1974 and this figure rose to approximately 100 million, followed by water route that went up by 20 million from 1974 to 2002.
      Conversely, the lowest one (what are you referring to?) was pipeline . It has grow from 1 million in 1974 to 20 fold in 2002 (It has grown twenty fold from 1974 to 2002).
      Thus, it is reasonable to surmise that road was the most popular one (what?) in uk (the UK) (,) while the pipeline was the least one in uk

      Good luck

  55. Nadia says:

    Hi there admin ;
    I am enclosing an other essay for assessment . Thank you so much for your time .
    Task 2 :
    Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people .We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love . We also often see pictures of them in private situations.
    Is it appropriate for a magazine or a newspaper to give this kind of private information about people ?
    Give reasons for your answers.
    The answer :
    It is true that some magazines and newspapers exagerate in introducing news about celebrities .Unfortunately , such newspapers and magazines chiefly seek quick profit rather than raising awareness among readers . This motivates us to raise the question is it necessary for a newspaper or a magazine to indulge into famous people’s privacy in order to be successful ?
    To start with , some newspapers and magazines deviate from their fundamental task which mainly pivotes on introducing facts to readers. They rather tend to shed light on news that mainly revolve around lives of celebrities . The main target behind this immoral bahaviour is to seek fast benefit by raising the selling and reading rate at the expense of the others’ privacy and lives .Thus , we notice that some journalists even risk with their lives in order to take some pictures of well- known people .The example that should be presented is the two English journalists who caught some private pictures of Princess Kate Middleton with swimsuit while she was swimming in the beach . Actually , this action is regarded unethical , for it badly indulges into the private lives of people.

    Furthermore, newspapers and magazines that depend on introducing detailed information and private photos of illustrious people without their approval should be punished and banned because they violate the law of individual freedom . In fact , introducing silly information about famous people would not change nothing in the readers’ lives . Hence , newspapers and magazines should focus on daily sufferings of people in different domains and present efficient solutions to problems prevailing in the society . In addition , celebrities remain like all humanbeing .They need to enjoy their lives without being restricted by journalists’ cameras . Newspapers and magazines that principally rely on celebrities’ news in order to raise financial profit would certainly vanish .
    In conclusion , newspapers and magazines should concentrate on introducing facts to raise awareness among readers rather than looking for profit .Moreover , private information and pictures of famous people that are published in magazines and newspapers without their consent should be fined and banned.

    • admin says:

      Hi Nadia,

      You would receive around a 7.5 for this essay.
      Your position to the question in clear. You use some uncommon vocabulary and the essay is well structured.
      However, there are still some problems with word choice and spelling (see corrections below).

      To start with , some newspapers and magazines deviate from their fundamental task which mainly pivotes (?? Wrong word choice) on introducing facts to readers. They (something is missing here) rather tend to shed light on news that mainly revolve around lives of celebrities . The main target behind this immoral bahaviour (sp) is to seek fast benefit (s) by raising the selling and reading rate at the expense of (the others’ privacy and lives – needs re-phrasing) .Thus , we notice that some journalists even risk (with – delete) their lives in order to take some pictures of well- known people .The example that should be presented is the two English journalists who caught some private pictures of Princess Kate Middleton with (wearing a) swimsuit while she was swimming in (at) the beach . Actually , this action is regarded unethical , (for it badly indulges into the private lives of people – need re-phrasing).
      Furthermore, newspapers and magazines that depend on introducing detailed information and private photos of illustrious people without their approval should be punished and banned because they violate the law of individual freedom . In fact , introducing silly information about famous people would not change nothing in the readers’ lives . Hence , newspapers and magazines should focus on daily sufferings of people in different domains and present efficient solutions to problems prevailing in the society . In addition , celebrities remain like all human being(s) .They need to enjoy their lives without being restricted by journalists’ cameras . Newspapers and magazines that principally rely on celebrities’ (celebrity) news in order to raise financial profit would certainly vanish .
      In conclusion , newspapers and magazines should concentrate on introducing facts to raise awareness among readers rather than looking for profit .Moreover , private information and pictures of famous people that are published in magazines and newspapers without their consent should be fined and banned.

  56. jo bibo says:

    Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
    There are widely different views on the issue of whether tourists should pay more fees than local residents for touristic places or not. Some people would suggest that it must be the same price for them both; however I personally believe that overseas should charge more . the reasons for my position are a follows.
    The argument in favor of higher prices for foreign tourists would be that cultural or historical attractions often depend on state subsidies to keep them going, which means that the resident population already pays money to these sites through the tax system. In consequence, this would increase the economy of the country and also promote local population to visit this places freely . to take Egypt as example which charge foreign more than Egyptian in visiting pyramids and other touristic places that increasing its incomes and help local population to see their monument with affordable price.
    Moreover, although I certainly agree that with fees rising to overseas this would give more money to ameliorate the services, places and accommodation .As result would increase the tourists and lead to more development in this country .further good service , hotels and historical places attract more tourists to come.
    By way of conclusion , I once again reaffirm my position that inhabitants have the right to visit their places with affordable price and it is norm to gain profit from foreign tourists to give them more services and develop the country

    please admin could you tell e my score here and any suggestion thanks

    • admin says:

      This is a good attempt at answering the question. You are answer is clear and relevant to the question. You have used some nice vocabulary and complex sentences.
      But,
      There are some problem with your use of singular and plural words and some other grammar errors, which I have noted below.
      You need to be careful with your word count, although 243 is just enough, you should be aiming for 250 words.
      Your essay would probably receive around a 7.

      Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

      There are widely different views on the issue of whether tourists should pay more fees than local residents for touristic places or not. Some people would suggest that it must be the same price for them both; however I personally believe that (visitors from) overseas should (be) charge(d) more . the reasons for my position are a follows.
      The argument in favor of higher prices for foreign tourists would be that cultural or historical attractions often depend on state subsidies to keep them going, which means that the resident population already pays money to these sites through the tax system. In consequence, this would increase the economy of the country and also promote local population to visit this places freely . to(delete to) take Egypt as example which charge(s) foreign(ers) more than Egyptian(s) in visiting pyramids and other tourist(ic-delete) places that increasing its income(s-delete) and help (the) local population to see their monument with affordable price(s).
      Moreover, although I certainly agree that with fees rising to overseas this would give more money to ameliorate the services s(it is not clear what you are saying here – rephrase) , places and accommodation .As result (this) would increase the tourists and lead to more development in this country .(?) further good service , hotels and historical places attract more tourists to come.
      By way of conclusion , I once again reaffirm my position that inhabitants have the right to visit their places with affordable price and it is norm to gain profit from foreign tourists to give them more services and develop the country

  57. jo bibo says:

    In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

    Teenagers are the powerful tools to develop their country. In the last years some countries push teenagers to travel or work for a period of time before they enter university, or even before the end of high school. Arguments have aroused up from parents, experts and teachers about the benefits and negative impacts of the travel or work among adult. I believe that the benefits of this program exceed the side effect on student life, experience and decision on his future.
    Teenagers who work or travel for a year between his study get a lot of knowledge that no one or a book can teach. Also adult get awareness of what is found around him in the surrounding of different culture and what the job market demand. Even more the travel or work maybe the motive that push adults to decide what will they study in the university or more the adults maybe found an opportunity in different country to study a subject that is not found in his country. On the other hand some people see that travel or work for this student will make them lost their concentration on their study. Or maybe leave their study. More over they might travel to other country and refuse to return and escape in consequence teenagers become criminal.
    Where there are problems they can be solved. Teenagers who travel or work during their study have more positive consequences in their life that exceed the negative side. Also the problem can be solved by putting rules that control this thing. I believe that this program for student must be highly applicable in all countries to develop this country.

    • admin says:

      Hi, Sorry for the late reply.
      This essay would probably receive around a band 5.5 to 6. You have addressed the question and have some good ideas and you have tried to use some less common vocabulary.
      However, there are a number of problems with your word choice and grammar, see notes below. Cohesion is sometimes lost as well as you have too many points in a paragraph. Try writing a topic sentence, then using supporting ideas/examples, this will make the paragraph a lot easier to follow.
      Teenagers are the powerful tools to develop their country. In the last years some countries (have) push(ed) (teenagers to travel or work for a period of time before they enter university, or even before the end of high school- you are just repeating the question). Arguments have aroused up from parents, experts and teachers about the benefits and negative impacts of the travel or work among adult. I believe that the benefits of this program (exceed the side effect on student life, experience and decision on his future – ???).
      Teenagers who work or travel for a year between his(or her) study (will) get a lot of knowledge that no one or (a) (no) book can teach. Also adult(s) (will/may..) get awareness of what is found around him in the surrounding of different culture and what the job market demand(s). Even (Furthermore) more(,) the travel or work maybe the motive that push(es) adults to decide what will they(they will) study in the university or more the adults maybe found an opportunity in different country to study a subject that is not found in his country. (NEW Paragraph needed)On the other hand some people see that travel or work for (this) student(s) will make them lost (lose) their concentration on their study. Or maybe leave their study. (Moreover)(,) they might travel to (an) other country and refuse to return and escape(.) in consequence teenagers become criminal(s).
      Where there are problems they can be solved. Teenagers who travel or work during their study have more positive consequences in their life (that exceed the negative side – rephrase). Also the problem can be solved by putting rules that control this thing. I believe that this program for student must be highly applicable in all countries to develop this country.

  58. jo bibo says:

    it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents,for instance for sport or music and others are not.however it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician discuss both these views and give your opinion
    Talent is a gift from god the help persons to become successful and famous in their fields .while some still hold to the conservative view that only talented people would be good and skillful in sport and art ;however other would suggest that by good teaching and practice ,the candidate could be as good as talented one. This essay will deal with both different opinions, in order to reach the most acceptable one.
    First of all , it is indisputable that person with this gift are more creature and easy to learn in his field .Salient example , Davinci was a famous painter who was talented and skillful in drawing .he became one of the famous painter in the world .further ,the child with skill in sport and if he received a good practice ,he would be a great champion. In stark contrast, however, a young person without gift will take a long time to learn this sport and become as less as the skillful one.
    Conversely, ordinary person could learn sport or art and become as great as gifted one.training and practicing are the secret to be successful in any field not the talent alone. Moreover if someone has a talent in music and he did not practice or trained, he couldnot be a good musician.
    By way of conclusion, I believe that any one could learn sports or arts without being talented .only talent help the person to learn fast than normal one and could make the person more creative if he use this gift correctly

    please tell me my score and how to improve

    • admin says:

      Dear Jo

      Although you have made a good attempt to answer the question, there are numerous grammatical mistakes that you need to watch out for. You have also made mistakes with punctuation and inappropriate lexis. Consequently, an examiner would mark you down for this. Instead of going through each mistake, I have rewritten your essay with all the corrections. I suggest you look at the corrected version very carefully and compare it with your essay. If you do this, it should make you realize the areas in which you need to improve. Remember that we use the word ‘people’ and not ‘persons’. Please begin a new sentence with a capital letter. If not, you will be penalized. When referring to only one person or being, we need to use a capital letter i.e ‘God’. Be careful with tenses. If you are talking about something in general, use the present simple i.e ‘if he did not practice or trained’ should be written, ‘if he doesn’t practice or train…’. You would probably get a band 5-5.5 for this essay. It is coherent but you need to work on the areas I have mentioned.

      Best regards

      The admin team

      It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents in recreational activities such as sport or music and others don’t. However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

      Talent is a gift from God that helps people to become successful and famous in their fields. While some still hold to the conservative view that only talented people are good and skillful in sport and art, others would suggest that by good teaching and practice, the candidate could be as good as a talented one. This essay will deal with both different opinions, in order to reach the most acceptable one.

      First of all, it is indisputable that people with this gift are more creative and find it easy to learn in his field. For example, Davinci was a famous painter who was talented and skillful in drawing. He became one of the most famous painters in the world. Furthermore, if a child good at sports gets plenty of practice, he could become a great champion. In stark contrast, however, a young person without a gift will take a long time to learn this sport and will not become as successful as the one who has a natural ability.

      Conversely, an ordinary person could learn sport or art and become as great as a gifted one. Training and practicing are the secret to being successful in any field, not only being talented. Moreover, if someone has a talent in music and he doesn’t practice or train, he cannot become a good musician.

      By way of conclusion, I believe that any one could learn sports or arts without being talented. Being talented helps a person to learn faster than normal and could make a person more creative if he uses this gift correctly.

  59. Rubina Zaidi says:

    Immigrants should not try to set up their own minority communities as it will lead to conflict between different groups society.
    Immigrants should study and adopt the local culture of their new country.

    Do you agree with this statement?
    Discuss both views.

    Immigrants earn better life style and money by working in advance countries. Therefore, it is their responsibility to abide the rules of that country and avoid all those activities, which can destroy the peace and harmony of these countries.

    People hunt jobs for financial improvement, any country provide them this opportunity have this right to make it mandatory for the people to follow their policies by law. Many multicultural societies have to make uniform policies for everyone regardless the differences in nationalities and religion boundaries. If everyone attempts to show his individuality in diverse background culture it could create many disciplinary issues, for example, many communities have this ritual of displaying religious processions on roads but they may not be allowed by law to have these events in the country where they work. So breaking the rules could create problem for the whole community.

    Another important aspect of being an immigrant is learning the culture of their new country. It would be helpful for them to adopt new cultural norms and practices, to get themselves blended properly with their citizen. Showing solidarity to their new country and its citizen will help them gaining the love and trust of their new country. There is another factor that should be considered seriously, it is globalization, countries have better choices and options, so any country can utilize the best possible resources of other countries, which best suites its’ culture and work environment.

    Therefore,I fully agree with the this statement that immigrants should not be involved in any of the activity that could lead to a conflict situation for their new country and ultimately become a threat to their jobs and survival in that country.

    Dear Admin,

    Please check this above mentioned draft and provide feedback. I have my test after 15 days. Thanks

    • admin says:

      Dear Rubina

      This is a very well-written essay. You have answered the question well, answered both questions and given detailed, extended answers with supporting detail. Your position is also very clear. You need to be careful with your use of collocations i.e ‘hunt jobs’ should be written ‘hunt for jobs’ and ‘regardless the differences’ should be written ‘regardless of the differences’. There are many more examples that you can see in the corrected version below. Some of the phrases needed changing because the word order is wrong. For example, ‘to get themselves blended properly’ should be written, ‘to blend themselves in properly with…..’. You also need to be careful with gerunds and infinitives. You wrote ‘will help them gaining the love and trust’ when you need to use the infinitive ‘gain’. Overall, it is a cohesive essay and would probably achieve a band score of around 6 to 6.5. You need to compare the essay you wrote with the corrected version below to see where you need to make other improvements.

      All the best

      The admin team

      Immigrants have a better life style and earn more money by working in advanced countries. Therefore, it is their responsibility to abide by the rules of that country and avoid all the activities which can destroy the peace and harmony of the place where they are living.

      People hunt for jobs in order to achieve financial improvement and any country that provides them with this opportunity has the right to make it mandatory for the people to follow their policies by law. Many multicultural societies have to make uniform policies for everyone regardless of the differences in nationalities and religion boundaries. If everyone attempts to show his individuality in a diverse background culture it could create many disciplinary issues, for example, many communities have the ritual of displaying religious processions on roads but they may not be allowed by law to have these events in the country where they work. So breaking the rules could create problems for the whole community.

      Another important aspect of being an immigrant is learning the culture of their new country. It would be helpful for them to adopt new cultural norms and practices, to blend themselves in properly with their citizens. Showing solidarity to their new country and its citizens will help them gain the love and trust of their new country. There is another factor that should be considered seriously which is globalization. Countries have better choices and options, so any country can utilize the best possible resources of other countries, which best suites their culture and work environment.

      Therefore, I fully agree with the statement that immigrants should not be involved in any of the activities that could lead to a conflict for their new country and ultimately become a threat to their jobs and survival in that country.

  60. binamz says:

    Dear Admin, Thank you very much for prompt reply, i will be more careful next time.
    and will send u another one

    • binamzRubina says:

      “In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment”.

      What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

      Youth is said to be the future of any nation, indeed a truth, however there is another demotivating truth in many societies where young graduate get negative response from employers because of not having strong family background or any source or lack of money to bribe the employers.
      Many deserving candidates after waiting in long queues and without being interviewed were sent back home, due to any of the above mentioned reasons. Its’ really painful situation for the youngsters to see our societies suffering social diseases like bribery , many well educated talented people get rejection from their dream jobs because they don’t have resources or financial support to hand over the required amount for that job.
      In my personal experience, I have faced a lot of hurdles to get suitable job according to my qualification and experience. I had been rejected on the basis of my passport colour and nationality, in spite of having double masters degree and unlimited professional development courses. However, our education system is another factor that gives birth to such situation. Our universities provide full time education for years, student come out of the campuses with unrealistic dreams that clashes with real life situations.
      Being one of the victim I might suggest few things based on reality, to improve the situation. I think employers should conduct IQ test to select the right candidate, also our education system need to be restructured by providing on campus jobs facilities and refer their best students to best companies so that without wasting time and resources talent should be utilized properly.

      • admin says:

        Dear Rubina

        You have written an excellent, cohesive essay. You have included good supporting detail and your lexis and grammar are strong. However, you make mistakes with plural/singular form, subject/verb agreement and articles. You also failed to provide a conclusion, which would really lower your score. Please see the corrected version below (still needing a conclusion) and compare it with your essay.

        Youth is said to be the future of any nation, but there is a demotivating truth in many societies where young graduates get negative responses from employers because of not having a strong family background or any source or lack of money to bribe the employers. Many deserving candidates after waiting in long queues and without being interviewed are sent back home, due to any of the above mentioned reasons. It’s a really painful situation for the youngsters to see our societies suffering social diseases like bribery and many well educated, talented people get rejections from their dream jobs because they don’t have resources or financial support to hand over the required amount for that job.

        In my personal experience, I have faced a lot of hurdles to get a suitable job according to my qualifications and experience. I had been rejected on the basis of my passport, colour and nationality, in spite of having a double masters degree and unlimited professional development courses. However, our education system is another factor that gives birth to such situations. Our universities provide full time education for years, students come out of the campuses with unrealistic dreams that clash with real life situations.

        Being one of the victims, I might suggest a few things based on reality, to improve the situation. I think employers should conduct IQ tests to select the right candidates, also our education system needs to be restructured by providing on campus jobs facilities and by referring their best students to the best companies so that without wasting time and resources talent should be utilized properly.

    • binamz says:

      Hello Admin, I have posted one essay yesterday, but I cant see it any more here…..?

  61. jo bibo says:

    Compare the advantage and disadvantage of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective
    Comics
    Books
    Radio
    Television
    Film
    Theatre
    During last year, a lot of ways of connections have been inveted by scientists. This media have been the most popular way Of informations and amusement. They are books, radio, and television. Experts and people have always discuss about thei positive and negative impacts upon all human kinds. What is the most influence among this three media is the question that no one know its answer. In my knowledge, I think That television is the most functional one.
    Letus now, demonstrate the good and the bad impact of each media on people. First if we looke at books, we found them to be the powerful source of information. Also the highly used among student in all classes. But on other hand, The books are very expensive . Even more, not all people have the passion to read books. Radio is a popular way to whom enjoy listening to music and news. However it does not offer an interested subject or variety that match people choice.
    Television where the words and sounds turn to image. Television is the most adorable among all ages. It offer movies, news, sports and entertainments shows. People can chose whatever they want from a huge variety of programs. But on the other side , it may offer a sort of adults material that is not appropriate for kids.
    Whenever there is a problem there are solutions. By way of conclusion, I believe that. Television is the most effective way to spread information and entertainment to all people.

    please tell me my score

    • admin says:

      This is a good attempt at answering the question. However, there are a number of issues. You need to follow a four paragraph essay plan. In the first paragraph you should write an introduction. In the second paragraph you should write about the advantages of the three types of media. In the third paragraph, you should write about the disadvantages of the types of media. Finally, write your conclusion in the last paragraph. In this way the essay will be more cohesive. As it stands you would probably get a band score of about 4.5 – 5.0. You must improve the structure of your essay. i have corrected your mistakes below but it still needs to be changed in the way I have mentioned. Think about the second and third paragraphs in particular.

      Best regards

      Admin team

      During the last year, a lot of ways of connecting with others have been invented by scientists. This media has been the most popular way to get information and amusement. It includes books, radio, and television. Experts and people have always discussed about their positive and negative impact upon all human kind. What has the most influence among these three types of media is the question that no one knows the answer to. From my knowledge, I think that television is the most functional one. Let us now, demonstrate the good and the bad impact of each type of media on people.

      First if we look at books, we find them to be a powerful source of information. Also, they are used a lot among students in all classes. On other hand, books are very expensive. Even more, not all people have the passion to read books. Radio is a popular way to enjoy listening to music and news. However, it does not offer an interesting subject or variety that matches the choices of some people. Television where the words and sounds turn to images is the most popular among all ages. It offers movies, news, sports and entertainment shows. People can chose whatever they want from a huge variety of programs. But on the other side, it may offer a sort of adult material that is not appropriate for kids.

      Whenever there is a problem there are solutions. By way of conclusion, I believe that television is the most effective way to spread information and entertainment to all people.

  62. jo nio says:

    Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.
    To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
    There are widely differing views on the issue of whether government should help aged population or not.some people claim that it is the responsibility of person to save money for retirement however I completely disagree that with that idea. The reasons for my position are as follow.
    First of all,it is an undeniable that senior citizens contributed to the economy of the country and also paying taxes when they were working . Although people worked in governmental jobs have the right to receive pension in their retirement, others who were working in private one not have these right. it is the turn of the state to support them when they get older by giving them pension .furthermore ,the authority must look after retirees by providing them health , nursery and psychological support.
    Moreover, although I certainly agree that young people must save some money to their retirement and to secure their future life , however pension make them financially secured . In many countries it is the law that people having jobs would get pension after leaving their jobs. Also some governments provide free services to old people like health and transportation.
    By way of conclusion ,I once again reaffirm my position that every retirees must receive free services as well as pension from his state after the age of 60 as this will secure his rest of life.
    please tell me my score

    • admin says:

      Dear Jo

      You have written a very cohesive, well-structured essay and provided plenty of good examples. Be careful with your punctuation and use of articles. I have written a corrected version below so you can compare it with your version and that will help you notice your mistakes and improve on them. You would probably achieve a band score of around 5.5 because you although you have put forward some great ideas you have made numerous grammatical mistakes.

      Best regards

      The admin team

      There are widely differing views on the issue of whether governments should help the aged population or not. Some people claim that it is the responsibility of the person to save money for retirement. However I completely disagree that with that idea. The reasons for my position are as follows.

      First of all, it is undeniable that senior citizens contribute to the economy of the country and also pay taxes when they were working . Although people working in governmental jobs have the right to receive a pension in their retirement, others who were working in private ones don’t have these rights. It is the turn of the state to support them when they get older by giving them a pension.Furthermore ,the authority must look after retirees by providing them health , nursery and psychological support.

      Moreover, although I certainly agree that young people must save some money for their retirement and to secure their future life , a pension makes them financially secure. In many countries it is the law that people who have jobs get a pension after leaving their jobs. Also some governments provide free services to old people like health and transportation.

      By way of conclusion ,I once again reaffirm my position that every retiree must receive free services as well as a pension from his state after the age of 60 as this will secure the rest of his life

  63. bio nio says:

    Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?
    Nowadays, the increasing rate of overweight children and adult is a worldwide issue. Obesity is a major problem which becomes more serious between school going children. There are many cause of this dangerous. In this essay I intend to explore the source of this disease along with some solution to it.
    Chief among the causes of this problem is junk food. Young people eat more hamburger, chips, hotdogs and pizza as it is easy to get in school and have good taste. Moreover they can buy chocolates candy and sweets .in addition, working parents is a main cause of this problem as they did not cook healthy food for their children, only they buy fast food .this unhealthy food is reached with fats and unhealthy materials which cause increase in weight without the benefit of the body.this issue can be resolved by cooking healthy food and eating balance diet.
    The second cause of fatness is the sedentary life. Children in modern life play video games watching TV without practicing sport or any activities. This will lead to increasing their weight .obesity in young age causes many health problems like diabetes, hypertension and heart disease. We can correct this case by promoting sports activities in schools and encouraged practicing some exercises.
    In conclusion, obesity become a serious question in our life .we must treat it by many ways like education of parent about good habit in eating, practicing exercises. At last put some program to help overweight children to decrease weight .
    please tell me my score

    • admin says:

      This is a very well-written essay with lots of great ideas. You still have a problem with punctuation though. Read carefully through the corrected version below and try not to make the same mistakes again. You would probably get a band score of around 5.5.

      Nowadays, the increasing rate of overweight children and adult is a worldwide issue. Obesity is a major problem which is becoming more serious between school going children. There are many cause of this dangerous disease. In this essay I intend to explore the source of this illness along with some solutions to it.

      Chief among the causes of this problem is junk food. Young people eat more hamburgers, chips, hot dogs and pizza as it is easy to get in school and it tastes good. Moreover, they can buy chocolates candy and sweets. In addition, working parents are the main cause of this problem as they do not cook healthy food for their children, only they buy fast food. This unhealthy food is made with fats and unhealthy ingredients which cause an increase in weight without benefiting the body. This issue can be resolved by cooking healthy food and eating a balanced diet.

      The second cause of gaining considerable weight is a sedentary life. Children in modern life play video games or watch TV without playing sport or doing any activities. This will lead to an increase in their weight. Obesity in young age causes many health problems like diabetes, hypertension and heart disease. We can correct this case by promoting sports activities in schools and encouraging people to do some exercises.

      In conclusion, obesity has become a serious question in our life. We must treat it in many ways like educating parents about good eating habits and doing exercises. Finally we need to design some programmes to help overweight children to decrease weight.

    • admin says:

      Again, this is a very well-written essay with lots of great ideas. You still have a problem with punctuation though. Read carefully through the corrected version below and try not to make the same mistakes again. You would probably get a band score of around 5.5.

      Nowadays, the increasing rate of overweight children and adult is a worldwide issue. Obesity is a major problem which is becoming more serious between school going children. There are many cause of this dangerous disease. In this essay I intend to explore the source of this illness along with some solutions to it.

      Chief among the causes of this problem is junk food. Young people eat more hamburgers, chips, hot dogs and pizza as it is easy to get in school and it tastes good. Moreover, they can buy chocolates candy and sweets. In addition, working parents are the main cause of this problem as they do not cook healthy food for their children, only they buy fast food. This unhealthy food is made with fats and unhealthy ingredients which cause an increase in weight without benefiting the body. This issue can be resolved by cooking healthy food and eating a balanced diet.

      The second cause of gaining considerable weight is a sedentary life. Children in modern life play video games or watch TV without playing sport or doing any activities. This will lead to an increase in their weight. Obesity in young age causes many health problems like diabetes, hypertension and heart disease. We can correct this case by promoting sports activities in schools and encouraging people to do some exercises.

      In conclusion, obesity has become a serious question in our life. We must treat it in many ways like educating parents about good eating habits and doing exercises. Finally we need to design some programmes to help overweight children to decrease weight.

  64. bio nio says:

    Given are two figures illustrating the type of water utilization globally in a century as well as consuming in 2 countries (brazil and Congo) in 2000.
    It is evident from the information provided that agriculture consumed by far the highest amount of water in those 100 years. in addition all sector of water consumption showed an upward trend in this period. In 1900, agriculture used approximately 50 km of water which has been risen 6 fold to become 3000 km in 2000.both industrial use and domestic use were slight the same between 1900 and 1940. BY1950 industrial use went up steadily to reach 1000 km in 2000.domestic use, however, rose to only 300 km.
    As shown in the table, Brazil had the highest population which accounted 176 million compared to only 5.2 million in Congo. Land irrigation utilized the great amount of water which was 26,500 km for brazil while in Congo it was 100 km.The figure of water consumption per person was 359 m in brazil however person in congo consumed 8m only.
    this is task 1 in cambridge 6 book exam 1 please tell me my score

    • admin says:

      You have written a good report with an appropriate overview. It is cohesive and you have reported the main features. However, you need to work on your punctuation. Make sure you use capital letters to name countries. You should always begin a sentence with a capital letter too. You have made a few other minor mistakes which you can see when you compare your report with the corrected version below. You would achieve a band score of around 6 – 6.5 for your report.

      Given are two figures illustrating the type of global water utilization in a century as well as the consumption in 2 countries (Brazil and Congo) in 2000.
      It is evident from the information provided that agriculture consumed by far the highest amount of water in those 100 years. In addition, all sectors of water consumption showed an upward trend in this period. In 1900, agriculture used approximately 50 km of water which had risen 6 fold to become 3000 km in 2000. Both industrial use and domestic use were almost the same between 1900 and 1940. By 1950, industrial use went up steadily to reach 1000 km in 2000. Domestic use, however, rose to only 300 km.

      As shown in the table, Brazil had the highest population which accounted for 176 million compared to only 5.2 million in the Congo. Land irrigation utilized the greatest amount of water which was 26,500 km for Brazil while in the Congo it was 100 km. The figure of water consumption per person was 359 million in Brazil although people in the Congo consumed only 8 metres.

  65. bio nio says:

    A glance at the table provided reveals the number of miles traveled per Britain with different mode of transport between 1985 and 2000. Overall, it is clearly seen that all modes of transportation had shown an upward trend by 2000 except walking, bicycle and local bus.
    By far, the most popular man of transport was car with 3199 miles in 1985 which rose to 4809 miles in 2000.However; the lowest figures were taxi and bicycle usage which accounted 13 and 51 respectively in 1985 and just equal in 2000.It is also interesting to note that long distance bus became more preferable as its figures was more doubled in the last 175 years compared to local bus which dropped by approximately twice in this period.
    To sum up, British people surpassed private modes of travel that public one and some other modes begin to become popular in 2000 from 450 to 585.

    cambridge book 6 exam 2 task 1
    please correct it to me

    • admin says:

      Dear student

      This is a good report and it is well structured with a clear overview. The features are appropriate to this kind of question. Data has been selected and there is a clear progression. I had to change the conclusion at the end which you can complete. You would get around a Band 6 for this answer. Please see the corrected version below.

      A glance at the table provided reveals the number of miles traveled over Britain with different mode of transport between 1985 and 2000. Overall, it is clearly seen that all modes of transportation had shown an upward trend by 2000 except walking, bicycle and local bus.

      By far the most popular means of transport was the car with 3199 miles in 1985, which rose to 4809 miles in 2000. However; the lowest figures were for taxi and bicycle usage which accounted for 13 and 51 respectively in 1985 and were equal in 2000. It is also interesting to note that the long distance bus became more preferable as its figures more doubled in the last 175 years compared to the local bus which dropped considerably in this period.

      To sum up, British people preferred private modes of transport to public transportation and some other modes began to become popular in 2000 such as…..?

  66. bio nio says:

    Given are two diagrams illustrating the life cycle of silk worm as well as the phase of cloth production from silk. During the life of the worm it produces some materials used in silk production.
    First, the life cycle begin when the adult moth lays eggs then those eggs hatch after 10 days which give larva that feed on mulberry leaf.4to 5 weeks later, larva covers itself with silk thread and transform into cocoon in 3-8 days. Finally, after 16 days, the moth gets out from the cocoon.
    Prior to the actual processing of silk cloth production ,it is first necessary to select the cocoon then putted it in boiling water. By unwind the cocoon it give 300to 900 meter of thread which twist together. At last, the twisted thread dyed directly and weaved to form cloth or knitted then put in color.
    To sum up, the life cycle of silk worm talk about 10 weeks and when it transformed into cocoon the process of cloth manufactured begin .

    cambridge book 6 test 3 task 1

    • admin says:

      Dear student

      Overall, this is a very well-written report. You have made a very good attempt at answering the question. Be careful with punctuation though. You might get 6-6.5 for this Report. Please see the corrected version below.

      Given are two diagrams illustrating the life cycle of a silk worm as well as the phases of cloth production. During the life of the worm, it produces materials that can be used in the manufacture of silk.

      First, the life cycle begins when the adult moth lays eggs. Then, those eggs hatch after 10 days which give larva that feed on the mulberry leaf. Four to five weeks later, larva covers itself with silk thread and transforms into a cocoon in 3-8 days. Finally, after 16 days, the moth comes out of the cocoon.
      Prior to the actual processing of silk cloth production, it is first necessary to select the cocoon then put it in boiling water. By unwinding the cocoon it gives 300 to 900 meters of thread which twist together. At last, the twisted thread is dyed directly and weaved to form cloth or knitted, then put in color.

      To sum up, the life cycle of a silk worm takes about 10 weeks and when it transformed into a cocoon the process of cloth manufacturing begins.

      • bio nio says:

        thanks admin for your correction please i want to get 7 at least in writing all please tell here if i write like your correction will i get the 7 or what i can do to get the 7

  67. bio nio says:

    Given are two figures illustrating the number of marriages and divorces between 1970 and 2000 as well as the portion of American mature relationship in two years.
    It is evident from the data provided that married people exceeded the divorced one among the 30 years. In 1970 the number of marriages was 2.5 million and it showed a plateau until 1980.
    These figure declined steadily over time to reach 2 million by 2000.In stark contrast, however; the figure of divorces was just under the half the number of the marriages in these period. Also it remained constant all over the 30 years at 1 million except in 1980 it went up half a million.
    Conversely, married people had the greatest portion among mature Americans in both years which accounted 70 and 60 % in 1970 and 2000, respectively. The other marital status did not exceed the 20%.widow people consisted in both years approximately 8%.Whilst the number of divorced adult was negligible; it became 9% in 2000.
    To sum up, the rate of marriages has dropped by 2000; however the figure for single people has grown .
    cambridge book 6 test 4 task 1

  68. jo gamil says:

    Given are two figures illustrating the developments which took place in the island which consisted of some touristic facilities.
    As shown in the figures, two blocks of accommodations have been built. One on the west near the beach where there is a swimming area and connected together and with the beach by footpath. However, the other is just near the centre of the island with footpath in between.
    In the centre, two buildings have been established .The first at the north which is a restaurant while the other in the middle which is the reception .The reception is surrounded by a road and also go down to the pier for vehicle where visitors can go sailing.
    To sum up, comparing both maps, there are a significant changes after this developments. Not only have the facilities in the island been constructed but also many sea activities can be used. The island is ready for tourists.

    cambridge book 9 test 1 task 1

  69. bio nio says:

    A glance at the pie chart provided reveals the places where the top 10 companies in UK advertised their products in 2008.

    It is evident from the information supplied that there are four main locations of advertising. By far the most common display was the internet and just similar in portion was the television. Both of them consisted of approximately three quarter of displays. In stark contrast, however, billboards were the lowest percent of the figure. Third in term of advertising were the newspapers/magazines which were about the half of the portion of television. Another noticeable feature is that there were other locations to advertise through them which were less popular that the first three ways.

    Thus, it is reasonable to surmise that Companies opted to advertise their products through internet as well as television .however the least popular was the billboards way.
    from http://freeieltspractice.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/advert-displays.pdf please tel me my score and how to improve it

    • admin says:

      Overall, this is a well written essay it is well organized and there is an overview. It would probably receive around a 6.5-7.
      Some of the word choice could be improved, e.g. ‘displays’ and ‘billboards way’
      You need to be careful with your word count. Writing task 1 is 150 words, your essay was under this.
      Read the chart carefully, it is not simply advertising, but the ‘location of the advertising campaigns’

      I hope this helps! Below are some corrections…

      A glance at the pie chart provided reveals the places where the top 10 companies in UK advertised their products in 2008.
      It is evident from the information supplied that there are four main locations of advertising. By far the most (common display was the internet and just similar in portion was the television). Both of them consisted of approximately three quarter of displays. In stark contrast, however, billboards were the lowest percent of the figure (give evidence). Third in term(s) of advertising (…) were the newspapers/magazines which were about the half of the portion of television. Another noticeable feature is that there were other locations to advertise through them which were less popular that the first three ways.
      Thus, it is reasonable to surmise that Companies opted to advertise their products through internet as well as television (.h)owever the least (popular was the billboards way – re-phrase).

  70. bio nio says:

    some people believe that unpaind community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes to what extent do you agree or disagree ?
    In context of modern day life community services should become mandatory or optional to high school students that have hardly failed to attract attention. It has been a breeding ground for spiritual debate and has sparked controversy. As a matter of fact, As a matter of fact, some commentators adopt a view that public services must be optional for secondary school students, whilst there are certainly solid arguments to the contrary, as for my position, I am odds to such ungrounded perception and under many circumstance, it is a must to put charity services as an obligatory subject in school. The reasons for my position are as follows.
    First of all, it is indisputable that charity services are important to the community as well as for the young people. It would inculcate good value in teenage. Consequently, students will learn how to help the society and their nation and be a good member in his socity.For instance student who entails in improving his neighborhood, become popular and lovable in his community. In addition, students will learn cooperation and how to help his nation.
    Further and even more importantly, serving in charity will fulfill young free time to do go things and prevent them to lose their time in doing inappropriate things. Even though after they finished those obligatory programs,young people will voluntarily renter again in other one. Another benefit from community services that it ameliorates the life in the community and contributes to its prosperity.

    By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my firm belief that obligatory community unpaid services will learn the teenage social norm and contribute of social well being.
    please tell my score and how to improve it

    • admin says:

      Your answer is easy to follow and your opinion is clear, which is good. You would probably receive around a 6.5
      There are some grammar mistakes and word choice errors (see below). I would also suggest you spend less time on the introduction, it is too long.
      I hope this helps!

      In context of modern day life community services should become mandatory or optional to high school students that have hardly failed to attract attention. It has been a breeding ground for spiritual debate and has sparked controversy. (As a matter of fact, As a matter of fact), some commentators adopt a view that public services must be optional for secondary school students, whilst there are certainly solid arguments to the contrary, as for my position, I am odds to such ungrounded perception and under many circumstance(s), it is a must to put charity services as an obligatory subject in school. The reasons for my position are as follows.
      First of all, it is indisputable that charity services are important to the community as well as for the young people. It would inculcate good value in teenage (studies). Consequently, students will learn how to help the society and their nation and be a good member in his socity.For instance (a) student who entails in improving his neighborhood, (will) become popular and lovable in his community. In addition, students will learn cooperation and how to help his nation.
      Further(more,) and even more importantly, serving in charity will fulfill young (people’s) free time to do (go – delete) things and prevent them (to lose their time in- change to wasting their time) doing inappropriate things. Even though after they finished those obligatory programs, young people will voluntarily re(-)enter again in other one. Another benefit from community services (is) that it ameliorates the life in the community and contributes to its prosperity.
      By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my firm belief that obligatory community unpaid services will (learn -ther) (the) teenage(rs) social norm(s) and contribute (of-to) social well being.

      Please like our facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Free-IELTS-Practice/195636180587439.
      Thanks!

  71. bio nio says:

    some people believe that the best way to improve public health in increase the number of sport facilities however other say that this would hhave little effect on public and other measures are needed discuss both opinion

    In context modern day life, improvement of people health becomes a crucial element for our prosperity. As a matter of fact, some commentators adopt a view that the rising of local sports center will expand its practicing, inconsequence influence on health, whilst, the experts object it on the ground that there are other measures more essential to wealthy.
    First of all, it is an indisputable fact that sound mind in a sound body. By extending the multifarious sports centers, many people will have the chance to practice sport in a wide base. Consequently, it would lead to decline in rate of overweight and obesity. In addition heart disease, DM and hypertension will show a dramatic drop. Furthermore sport relief life stress as well as tension. Sport players are a salient example of the benefits of sport on health.
    Conversely, the experts of health sector confirm that others methods are essential to boost the community health .For instance, balanced and good nutrition contribute to wealthy body. Moreover, preventive measures as well as curative measures are paramount to health. Vaccination used to prevent the disease and give immunity against it .Also spends on research of medication to find the cure of many diseases and prevent its spread.
    In conclusion, the other measures mentioned above are pivotal to promote our health; however, physical activities contribute to small amount to health wellbeing.

    • admin says:

      This would probably receive around a 6.5.
      You have used some good and lesson common vocabulary, which is good.
      There is a problem with some of your word choice, making sentences unclear.
      Your introduction is a little confusing.
      I would also note the question you posted, is unlikely to appear in an IELTS exam, please see freeieltspractice.com ‘s examples (at the top of this page), for more likely questions.
      I have corrected some mistakes below.

      In context modern day life, improvement of people(‘s) health becomes a crucial element for our prosperity. As a matter of fact, some commentators adopt a view that the rising (increase) of local sports center(s) will expand its (unclear what you are referring to) practicing, inconsequence influence on health, whilst, the experts object it on the ground(s) that there are other measures more essential to wealthy.
      First of all, it is an indisputable fact that sound mind in a sound body (need to re-word, unclear). By extending the multifarious sports centers, many people will have the chance to practice sport (in a wide base???). Consequently, it would lead to decline in rate(s) of (overweight and – delete) obesity. In addition heart disease, DM and hypertension will (show a dramatic drop_ -dramatically drop). Furthermore(,) sport relief (relieves) life stress as well as tension. Sport players are a salient example of the benefits of sport on health.
      Conversely, the experts of (the) health sector confirm that others methods are essential to boost (the – delete) community health .For instance, balanced and good nutrition contribute to (a) wealthy body. Moreover, preventive measures as well as curative measures are paramount to health. Vaccination used to prevent the disease and give immunity against it .(Also(,) spends on research of medication to find the cure of many diseases and prevent its spread – unclear).
      In conclusion, the other measures mentioned above are pivotal to promote our health; however, physical activities contribute to small amount to health wellbeing.

  72. Michael says:

    Dear Admin
    This my first time , i need your help to evaluate my writings and whst could be my score
    ‘Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars,pop musicains or sports starsare paid too much. Do you agree or disagree,which other types of job should be highly paid’
    There is a wide range for salaries among the different jobs as not all jobs get the same salary range for its employees.
    Also there is a difference in salaries between the government employees and that works in the private sector , the employees in the private sector get high salaries than those in the govenment.
    But there is some special jobs out of any range ,example for that cinema stars ,pop musicians ,footbal players and talk show presenters..
    Those actors and artists in some times thier salaries are millions for one movie or for one series on the TV.
    The presenters of the talk show programs some times thier salaries exceed hundred thousands per on show of the program.
    The football player is getting a very high salary beside a profit or a bonus for their sucess each year .
    My openion it should’nt be like that , this wide range of salaries could make some frusterated and unsatisfied with thier jobs,especialy those who are serve the community and are essential for the community strenght and stability example who work in the health services (doctors,nurses,pharmacists),those who work in the education field like teachers,professors and researchers ,those who works for security system like police men and army.
    These later jobs should have the priorty of caring because they are the basic of any progress in all the communities.

  73. bio nio says:

    Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
    Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

    Kids burgeon rapidly and their impact upon their countries perspectives soars. Some people would suggest that school is the main source to teach children how to be a positive model of state. However, I personally believe that parents bring up kids to be a good example.
    Firstly, I will demonstrate my point of view. Children are like sponges that absorb anything, the first persons that they learn from are their loved ones. Also, children are being monitors by their families who have the upper hands upon them. In addition, if, the house has a great troubles among its members this have a negative influence upon their kids’ personalities. Moreover children stay in home with their family for a long time so the parents’ manners of acting influence upon their kids. Evermore, parents have control over their kids’ education system their ways to connect the external world.
    On the other hand, there are various aspects against these arguments. This opinion support that school is the first player in children life. Children attend school annually and they learn a lot of subjects that affect their attitudes. Also, in school kids take social sciences that affect their modes of acting. Moreover, their friend and colleges may have a great impact upon them.
    We can sum up the ideas by saying that parents have the upper hands among teaching their kids to become a better team in society and being a powerful hand in developing their country .

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.